Monday, June 22, 2009

Bottled Up Emotions

Back when I use to post every day, I often use to discuss my inability to express my feelings, and to open up about things that would bother me. Months later and not too much has changed. For some reason, it’s as if the smallest things are beginning to piss me off, and instead of talking about it, and I just shut down and get angry. Last night, I toss and turned all night because I had so much on my mind and I didn’t what to say and how to say, and so I just sat there, in the dark staring at the wall. When I say things people take it the wrong, or there are times when I feel like people don’t take me seriously enough both at home and at work. Keeping my emotions bottled up is never a good thing, and at one point I was really do good with expressing myself, but lately I feel as if I am converting back to my old ways. Taking steps backwards is never an improvement.

So what do I do? I have tried time and time again but I can’t seem to shake my bad habit. There have been times even recently when I attempted to express my thoughts, and they were dismissed as if my feelings were not important, and as a result of that I really have become hesitant to open up. Especially if I’m just going to ignored-there is no point. I’m not saying what I’m doing is right, I’m just saying people are not making easy for me to work on my flaws. So now I’m just keeping shit in again, and I’m another incident from snapping on someone that doesn’t deserve it. I’m trying people, I really am- I want to express how I feel when things happen but I’m fed up with people not taking me seriously or misinterpreting what I’m trying to get across. Some of it could be my approach because I’m naturally a nice good, or maybe it’s the people that I surround myself with…maybe I need to take inventory and clean some things (and people ) out of my life……

Sorry for the rambling…I guess I'm making good use of my outlet.

4 comments:

Robin Monique said...

I think this is where blogging comes in. I know I have the most difficult time communicating my feelings verbally. But give me a pen and paper and suddenly my demons are instantly exercised. Even if you don't do it in your blog, it might be good for you to put some of what you're feeling on paper. Just a thought.

-Q. said...

'Taking steps backwards is never an improvement'
You said it homeboy. You also said that your thoughts were being dismissed. Address it, that to whom that does it. And if change doesnt amount from that dismiss they ass. Keep the basics basic dog(sometimes its the hardest thing to do). Blowin up shakes up ya swag.. keep it pimpin -Q.

-Q. said...

'Taking steps backwards is never an improvement'
You said it homeboy. You also said that your thoughts were being dismissed. Address it, that to whom that does it. And if change doesnt amount from that dismiss they ass. Keep the basics basic dog(sometimes its the hardest thing to do). Blowin up shakes up ya swag.. keep it pimpin -Q.

12kyle said...

Whuddup D? Comin thru to check on you, bruh. Hope all is well