Monday, June 1, 2009

Doing It For The Kids

Two weeks ago I was in Dallas for training for my job, but it just so happens that my (play ) brother CJ happens to now live in Dallas. Me and CJ have been close friends since I was Freshman in high school, in fact we are so close that when I get married I would consider him as my best man. CJ is a really good dude, very kind hearted, and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Now CJ has been with this Mexican woman named Sandy for a while now they have been off and on for about four years and they have two kids together, a four year old and a 1 year old both boys.

Now here is the story, me and CJ was out shopping one day and out of nowhere he says "Darrius do you think I should get married"

Now this is coming from a guy that never open up about anything, I paused to think about if I should really be honest with him, so I said "No because deep inside I don't believe you believe that Sandy is the one for you."

After some dialogue back and forth I asked him why he continued to stay with Sandy if wasn't really in love.

CJ said, "because I am afraid that if I leave Sandy, I will never see my sons again."

Most men would probably just say fuck it and just let it be but CJ would rather stay in a unhappy relationship then to lose the relationship with his kids. CJ told me that it was no better feeling than to coming home and have his kids run to him. So many men are quick to run out on their kids at the dumbest reason but CJ is cut from a different cloth. We continued to talk about 10 minutes and the only thing he kept saying was "my kids", those two boys are his life and I can't help but to look up to him (even though we are only about a month apart) because he actually wants to be a father to his children while most men can give two fucks. I know that my brother does not have a relationship with his father and he doesn't want his kids to grow up without a father like he did, CJ is putting an end to generational curses. So if you are a deadbeat father and you are reading this blog you should really be ashamed of your self.

There are lot of good men out there, and CJ is one of them. A real man who won't walk away from his responsibilities, and lives for his children.


The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

That is really wonderful that your brother wants to be very involved in his children's lives. And he should be.

But, I have to give my opinion on something. . .staying together just for the kids is never a good thing.
I should know I stayed in a marriage too many years too long for that reason. . . the kids.
Finally, I had to realize that I needed to be happy for the kids too. Children want happy parents.

Your brother doesn't have to lose his children cause he isn't with the mother. He has rights and can get joint custody.

Just my penny worth.

Mizrepresent said...

How beautiful is that and so long overdue with our young men today. Big ups to CJ for wanting to remain in his childrens lives, although i don't think he really has to risk his happiness for that, perhaps in time things will work out for him. Wishing him the best and giving him kudos for being a great father.

-Q. said...

Brotha's like that are a dying breed. Uplift that man, lotta times we dont let our partna's when they need us put they woes on our shoulders.. Love posts like this. Ayo -Q.

Miss Mika said...

A little late :)

I totally agree with Sharon... while it is comendable that your brother is choosing to stay unhappy in his relationship so that he can be active in his kids life, the last thing kids want to see is their dad unhappy. My mother stayed in a relationship with a man because she thought her girls needed a good father figure and in her eyes, he was that. But my sister and I could see that she was hurting and that hurt us because we ended up feeling responsible for her unhappiness.

I wish that more men had the same passion for thier kids.