Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Way a Man Treats His Mother...And His Wife

Next, ask him about his relationship with his mother. It’s the first relationship a man has with a woman, and if he has a good track record with her, then chances are he knows how to treat a woman with respect and has some kind of idea of how to profess, provide, and protect not only a woman but a potential family too. I don’t know a boy living whose mother isn’t beloved. We learn to protect her and provide for her; we learn about the basic core of love for a woman from her. Indeed, if a man is at odds with his mother, it’s a safe bet that he’s going to be at odds with you. If you any part of “Man, me and mother? We just don’t get along…” in his answer, erase his number and texts from your phone and keep it moving.

What you just read was an excerpt from Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, and Think Like A Man”. Ladies if you haven’t had a chance to check this book out, then please don’t hesitate…go buy it and read it. This book gives a very profound incite on why us men act the way we do. The book could also be very helpful to your current relationship. Now back to the subject. About a month ago at work, I heard these two sisters talking about some woman who was dealing with a man that was downright disrespectful. This guy would talk to her all crazy, emotionally abuse her, and even physically abused the young woman. Throughout their conversation one of the young women kept saying that this guy addresses his wife as if she “just some random hoodlum on the street and not like his wife”. ( I heard all of this while eating my lunch being nosy lol). So as I’m reading this book, I couldn’t’ help but to immediately think about this young woman that my co-workers were referring to.

The statement that Steve Harvey gave could not be any more accurate (well at least in my case ). Growing up my mother and sister was all that I had, and my mother made it a responsibility everyday to tell me to respect and love women. Her exact words were “you don’t show love to a woman by hitting her like some nigga or talking to her as if she was your slave. Show respect and love and you will get the same in return” Those were the words she spoke when we found out that my cousin Charlene was getting abused by her boyfriend of 6 years. I adore my mother because of what she sacrificed for me when I was younger, and I would NEVER, EVER think about disrespecting my mother in any form. I’m not the best boyfriend in the world, but I will admit that I do a damn good job of showing my shorty that I care. Because my basic core of love was established by the example my mother provided to me at an early age. My mother use to always say take care and look after your wife, they way you do for me. That type of mindset has stuck with me to this day, and no matter what happens I cannot see myself talking to a lady like she beneath me. I do know that there are so WEAK women out there that will accept a man that will address them anyway they want because of the fear that if that guy leaves she want have anything but it’s not acceptable. But the part that baffles me, is that (some) women think that type of behavior is okay, and they stay with that abusive man. Maybe this is just my philosophy but every woman needs to be treated with the upmost respect. I had to learn the hard way.

I was eleven years old, and my sister (who was 16 at the time )was pissing me off because she kept turning the damn channel when I was trying to watching Jordan and the Chicago Bulls play. We exchanged verbal assaults back and forth and until I got fed up and I uttered the words “give me back the remote “BITCH”. My sister called my mother downstairs and told her what I said. My mothers walked over to me, tightened her fist and punched me dead in my mouth. She went for a second swing and I ducked out the way, but my mother made me apologize to my sister…and from that day on, I vowed never to repeat the same mistake.

The way a man treats his mother really does have a lot of influence on how he will treat his girlfriend/wife. I can’t speak for all men, but most good men, that treat their women with the type of love and respect from the start…that man probably views his mother as the best thing on earth. Ladies leave there is NO good reason to stay with a man that disrespects, abuse and/or belittles you. Find that king that is willing to treat you like a queen.


Miss Mika said...

Amen D!!!

I have heard great things about Steve Harvey's book... I might need to go cop it.

I totally agree that the relationship that a man has with his mother will say a lot about the type of relationship he will have with a woman. Having said that however, there is a fine line between having a good relationship and being a momma's boy. I once dated a guy who had a fantastic relationship with his mother. They talked almost everyday and had an openness that I wish I had with my own mother. But after things started getting serious between he and I, the daily phone calls went from being sweet to annoying. I later found out that this man's mother was responsible for paying all of his personal bills. He would give her access to his bank account so that she could pay for them. When we would argue, he would immediately call his mother and tell her about it! And she would then request to speak to me and offer unrequested advice on how to deal with the situation. Needless to say, there is a fine line. But more often than not, a good relationship with mom is good sign.

12kyle said...

I agree with the excerpt. The relationship that we have with our mother sets the tone for how we treat the women in our lives. I can't tell you how much i love momma12. I respect her so much. I'm grown and i won't drink or cuss around her. Scared she might whup my ass. LOL

ShellyShell said...

Hey! First time commenting but I always read you. Glad your back. You seem like a remarkable young man who has a lot going for yourself! With that being said.
My mom has ALWAYS stressed that to me and my sister. I'm the youngest and my sister is 8 years older than me. My brothers are 12 and 16 years older. My parents raised great sons who love and respect their wives. My mom and I have similar personalities so we have our moments...lol! Nothing disrespectful though! I don't swear in front of my mom but I will have a few cocktails!
I once started to date a dude that had a horrible relationship with his mother and it showed in everything he did. I quickly left his ass alone cause I knew one day he was going to say something crazy and I was going to have to take a frying pan to his damn head!
I wish a lot more women would get that a man shouldn't talk to you crazy!

RealHustla said...

I used to use this guideline of Steves to help me choose which men to deal with. I wish that it was true. I've run into many men who seem to treat their moms right, but that right treatment rarely transcended to me.

Kendra Williams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kendra Williams said...

I have to agree with the RealHustla quote on " men who seem to treat their moms right, but that right treatment rarely transcended to me" I was in the exact same situation. I believe a woman should look at the family as a whole to tell what type of man he is. How he was raised by both parents can tell you what type of man he will be toward you... you really do live by example but at the same time... a man and woman included should pick up behaviors that they learned from family and choose the values and beliefs that they most can apply to their own marriage.. because just because you were raised by a certain set of values doesn't mean it should be set in stone and most of the time abuse in a home especially repeated abuse or just abuse period can last a lifetime of damages so ladies beware how a man was raised collectively in his family unit that's the language he would speak to you in the long-term also, he would be even wiser if he listens to his wife's opinions and perspectives and apply it in their marriage. I believe that is what makes a true Golden King and husband. We women do have the power it's just finding a man who still is the head of the household but he knows that his wife is the one in charge. (He would be extremely intelligent) and that man would be the man I choose to marry. Just saying.