Thursday, October 1, 2009

What Was Once Love

I know everyone I been horrible with keeping up with my blog but I have reason for it, just too much to tell but I have something on my heart and I need to share my feelings. Okay so after 5 years of being in a relationship and a total of ten years of friendship, me and shorty have decided that it was time for us to part ways. Now the first question many of you would be thinking is why? And honestly we both played a part in the demised of our relationship. For months now we have been having trouble not communicating with each other, not showing each other enough respect or love, and most importantly we were not listening to each other needs. My ex and I developed a friendship before we ever decided to become a couple and once we became a couple the friendship got lost in the shuffle.

For 10 years my girl has been in my life for both the good and the bad, but somewhere along the way she changed and so did my thoughts about our relationship.

As a result if my frustration in the relationship I made the dumbest mistake in my life when I allowed someone to come in between us. And so I cheated. Being the man that I am….I told her about it, up front because I didn’t want her to find out. There were a number of reasons why I did what I did but there is no excuse in the world for my actions. Although I feel like this whole fiasco is my fault, I was somewhat provoked by the actions of my significant other.

The bottom line is….I miss my friend, and I miss my woman! But at this point, we both have done so much damage…I doubt if it can be repaired.


The Jaded NYer said...


Sorry to hear about this. 10yrs is a long time, though... maybe after a break something- even if it's just the friendship- might be repaired.

I wish you both the best!

Miss Mika said...

Wow D, I don't even know what to say other than I have been wondering about you and praying that you and yours have been okay. I know that you are a great man woven from a different cloth in comparison to a lot of other men out here. Just give it time D and give it prayer. You know I will be praying for you.

Hang in there D.

MP said...

really sorry to hear about this. it is hard to lose somebody who has had a very constant presence in your life for that long of a time. hopefully time will help to heal.

12kyle said...

Wow! I was wondering what happened to my lil brutha. Here's my .02

First, I'm sorry to hear that you two are no longer together. I think you should be commended for coming clean and telling her what you did. That doesn't excuse what you did. You know what you did. However, as a married man of 9 yrs (been together for 15)...I'm not going to pass judgement on you. Nor should anybody else. Staying faithful to one is hard enough. It's even harder once there's been a break down in communication. I've managed to do it but it's hard as hell!

The one thing that you said that stands out to me is that you have a friendship. That's very important and means a lot. You have a foundation that you have established. If there is a future for you two (and i think there can be)then you have to return to the roots of the friendship. If you both want can happen. Give it time. Stay strong fam

ShellyShell said...

I'm going thru something similar minus the cheating. My ex was a true friend and somewhere the friendship was lost. Like you said I miss my friend. But just because you made a mistake doesn't mean that it can't be worked out. It will take a lot of work on both your sides but it can be worked on. Right now you two may just need a time out! Pray on this. I hope everything works out for you. I know how you feel...

1/3 said...

hey darrius!

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship:-( Like the others said no one is passing judgment. you are a young man and can and will make mistakes just like the rest of us. Hopefully you can work it out enough to still be friends at least...I'm praying for you and keep your head up:-)

Anonymous said...

Whoaaa. And ya'll would have just had your anniversary on the 13th.


Obviously, I would never come over here "judging" you. I'm just disappointed that it ended between you two. But as two strong, believers and lovers of God, I have faith that you two will figure something out. Rather it just be a friendship or the two of you back together.

Good luck hunny. This was just another learning experience...