Thursday, November 12, 2009

Domestic Abuse

I can’t imagine me ever putting my hands on a woman. No matter how upset she makes or how much she may provoke me, I will NEVER HIT A WOMAN. Since Rhianna has decided to open her mouth finally and speak out about the Chris Brown situation (Ironically weeks before her album is due) the topic of domestic abuse has risen again. Now when I was a kid me and my sister would always fight, but that is what siblings do. However, I was always taught to never hit women-No matter how big the small the problem may be, a man should never physically abuse a woman. (Unless she points a gun to your head).

When I was 10 years old, there was a life changing event that opened my eyes to domestic abusive. For the sake of keeping the identity of those in the story safe, I will use different names. My cousin Carmen (Who was staying with us at the time) was dating this guy name Mike for about four years. They seemed to have had a pretty stable relationship. Mike was cool with the family, he was always polite to me and my sister, and was very well mannered. As in any relationship, things happen and Carmen ended up getting pregnant. Once she found out that was going to give birth to a child, Carmen and Mike’s relationship suddenly took a tragic turn for the worst. I once overheard a conversation between the two of them, and Carmen was yelling “I would never forgive myself if I did that.”

At the time I was a bit naive to the fact that Mike was obviously requesting that Carmen abort the child, but she refused. One night after Carmen got off work, she was leaving the train station and heading home. Mike knew her schedule and waiting for Carmen to walk across the parking lot of the train station. He saw her and offered her a ride home so she wouldn’t have to walk in the dark. He walked around her and the two were now facing each other, and he did the unthinkable. He struck Carmen in the stomach three times in the stomach attempting to kill the baby, and twice in the face. Mike got in his car and left Carmen laying on the ground crying , after 9:00 pm in the middle of East Oakland. Our house was almost 7 blocks from the train satiation and while Carmen was in pain and her face filled with tears Carmen walked home into the arms of mother. Emotional and concerned for her unborn child, Carmen attempted to remain calm but the thought of what had just transpired and her physical appearance was too much to deal with. At 10 years old, I sat on the top of the stairs looking at my cousin with a bruised face, and crying uncontrollably- the image of her face is something that I can never forget. All of this from the hands of a man.

Luckily, the baby wasn’t harmed, but the damage was done. Carmen never heard from Mike again. That was day I told myself that I could never hit a woman. No woman should have to endure that type of suffering of the hands of a man, or anyone for that matter. Any man that beats on a woman is a straight up BITCH. So if you are a man that is reading this post and have ever hit a woman to hurt her…your presence is not welcomed here. Ladies a man only is going to do what you allow him to do. I know there are some women out there who have been in an abusive relationship and stayed with that person, because of the “love” he has for you, or you think he is never going to hit you again. All of that is a bunch of bullshit. If he hit you once, he will probably do it again, and you would be a fool to go back to him. Domestic violence is an issue that often gets swept under the rug in the black community. And as a man I am saying enough is enough. Lets love our sisters and not harm them.


Mizrepresent said...

What a wonderful post! Kudos to you!

12kyle said...

i feel the same way that you do. i can't even think about raising my hand to hit a woman.

it's interesting how many females took ike brown's side. i told them..."remove the names and the fame and THEN tell me if you think i'd be ok.

Nspired said...

Very heartfelt story, More men should be like you.

ShellyShell said...

This is a great post! I also think women should not think it's ok to hit a man. I've seen chicks just go the hell off on dudes and I'm always like that's NOT ok. If a man would hit you like that then you'd be ready to call the police. So, what gives you the right to put your hands on him because you're a woman...uhh no! Too many people condone this type of behavior and it's not ok coming from a man or woman.