Since the early part of September, I have been trying to find some type of way to keep my mind off of what has been going on in my life. Since the end of my five relationships and me moving out, my days and nights have suddenly become predictable, it’s just been work, drinking, and the clubs. By forcing myself to indulge in activities that many consider “fun” have just been hindering my thoughts process of what I exactly need to be doing. So last week while sitting in my room thinking about the progression of my life, I finally came up with a plan to move forward, and make better decisions.
1)Experience what it’s like to live on my own. Okay I’m 25 years old, and since I’ve gotten out of college, I was living with my Dad and Step Mother, and after leaving there I went to shack up with my girl friend. And although there is talk of me coming back to live there with her again, that would mean that I would have gone through life not ever knowing how it feels to live on my own. Moving in with my girl is possibly one of the worst things that could have happen to my relationship, and I think the space is much needed. So I have decided to experience what it’s like to get my own apartment to live on my own, and take care of me and only me
2)I need to learn how to become a better a person. In no way am I attempting to be infallible, but I think there is always room for improvement. Throughout life I have always made some very decision in life. I am not the most garrulous person in the world but I need to work on expression my thoughts and feelings instead of holding them. Nothing about that is healthy but I haven’t found the right way to deal with that emotion. I also want to be more active in my nephew’s life. I never had a positive male influence in my life, and I need to be that for him, because the men in his life are not the greatest, and I am his only hope.
3)I want to become a friend again to my ex so that we can possibly try to move forward and get right. Part of the reason why we had so many problems is because we stop being friends towards each other. However, I realize that I must be the one to put forth the effort considering the fact that I am the one who caused all of this drama. I have to mend this relationship, and put my pride aside for the sake of my future with her….if she wants to have one with me.
Everyday is a new day, and another day to get my life right.