I still can’t get into Twitter…Even when I go onto peoples twitter accounts I struggle with trying to find out who is saying what!
I figure I will just tweet with my Facebook status lol
The alumni association for my school decided to lend a hand to some families in need for the city of Cincinnati. So we held a food drive from October to November in hopes of lighting the load for a few families. And of course I was the one who to deliver the food to these families…but when I dropped the food off, all of them acted like they were ashamed to accept the food. I can understand the feeling, but at the same time a smile and thank you would have been nice. People are so unappreciative!
And do you know I paid $30 bucks for a fu*king turkey. Who knew they were that expensive. I think the next I straight up buying Cornish Hens.
Are you waking up at 4 am to wait in line at Wal-Mart? Not me….I never have and probably never will.
Wait maybe I should go, so I can get some things for my new apartment.
It seems like forever since I spent the holidays with my mother and sister. I want to go back to California so bad.
Poll Question: What is better, Henny, Remy, or Crown?
Henny makes every girl in the club look like a dime, and that’s not a good thing.
Is it considered “gay” if a man goes out and gets a pedicure? I don’t think so because I got one for the first time and the shit felt great lol
For those of you that have been following me for a minute know that I am not a big Tyler Perry fan. In fact I don’t particularly care for his work. However, I found out that he making a squeal to “Why Did I Get Married?” Ironically, that is the one movie I did enjoy. But honestly how much more drama can those three couples go through?
How whack is BET now?
All the hype about that movie “Precious” and it turned out to be a complete let down.
I am happy that Rihanna is making a comeback and all, but I never really been a big fan of her music. She can’t even sing….I’m not hating I’m just being honest.
Speaking of Rihanna, it’s hard to look at Chris Brown the same anymore. I forgive him, but I can’t even listen to his music anymore. It’s just sad.
Okay…Knowing what you know now about Chris Brown….Would you let him date your daughter?
This is a public service announcement to Floyd Mayweather: FIGHT MANNY PACQUIAO! I think that Pac Man would win that fight hands downs!
Melanie Fiona is the truth…
Where is Jill Scott?
J. Cole is the next big thing in Hip-Hop
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Moving Foward
Since the early part of September, I have been trying to find some type of way to keep my mind off of what has been going on in my life. Since the end of my five relationships and me moving out, my days and nights have suddenly become predictable, it’s just been work, drinking, and the clubs. By forcing myself to indulge in activities that many consider “fun” have just been hindering my thoughts process of what I exactly need to be doing. So last week while sitting in my room thinking about the progression of my life, I finally came up with a plan to move forward, and make better decisions.
1)Experience what it’s like to live on my own. Okay I’m 25 years old, and since I’ve gotten out of college, I was living with my Dad and Step Mother, and after leaving there I went to shack up with my girl friend. And although there is talk of me coming back to live there with her again, that would mean that I would have gone through life not ever knowing how it feels to live on my own. Moving in with my girl is possibly one of the worst things that could have happen to my relationship, and I think the space is much needed. So I have decided to experience what it’s like to get my own apartment to live on my own, and take care of me and only me
2)I need to learn how to become a better a person. In no way am I attempting to be infallible, but I think there is always room for improvement. Throughout life I have always made some very decision in life. I am not the most garrulous person in the world but I need to work on expression my thoughts and feelings instead of holding them. Nothing about that is healthy but I haven’t found the right way to deal with that emotion. I also want to be more active in my nephew’s life. I never had a positive male influence in my life, and I need to be that for him, because the men in his life are not the greatest, and I am his only hope.
3)I want to become a friend again to my ex so that we can possibly try to move forward and get right. Part of the reason why we had so many problems is because we stop being friends towards each other. However, I realize that I must be the one to put forth the effort considering the fact that I am the one who caused all of this drama. I have to mend this relationship, and put my pride aside for the sake of my future with her….if she wants to have one with me.
Everyday is a new day, and another day to get my life right.
1)Experience what it’s like to live on my own. Okay I’m 25 years old, and since I’ve gotten out of college, I was living with my Dad and Step Mother, and after leaving there I went to shack up with my girl friend. And although there is talk of me coming back to live there with her again, that would mean that I would have gone through life not ever knowing how it feels to live on my own. Moving in with my girl is possibly one of the worst things that could have happen to my relationship, and I think the space is much needed. So I have decided to experience what it’s like to get my own apartment to live on my own, and take care of me and only me
2)I need to learn how to become a better a person. In no way am I attempting to be infallible, but I think there is always room for improvement. Throughout life I have always made some very decision in life. I am not the most garrulous person in the world but I need to work on expression my thoughts and feelings instead of holding them. Nothing about that is healthy but I haven’t found the right way to deal with that emotion. I also want to be more active in my nephew’s life. I never had a positive male influence in my life, and I need to be that for him, because the men in his life are not the greatest, and I am his only hope.
3)I want to become a friend again to my ex so that we can possibly try to move forward and get right. Part of the reason why we had so many problems is because we stop being friends towards each other. However, I realize that I must be the one to put forth the effort considering the fact that I am the one who caused all of this drama. I have to mend this relationship, and put my pride aside for the sake of my future with her….if she wants to have one with me.
Everyday is a new day, and another day to get my life right.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Domestic Abuse
I can’t imagine me ever putting my hands on a woman. No matter how upset she makes or how much she may provoke me, I will NEVER HIT A WOMAN. Since Rhianna has decided to open her mouth finally and speak out about the Chris Brown situation (Ironically weeks before her album is due) the topic of domestic abuse has risen again. Now when I was a kid me and my sister would always fight, but that is what siblings do. However, I was always taught to never hit women-No matter how big the small the problem may be, a man should never physically abuse a woman. (Unless she points a gun to your head).
When I was 10 years old, there was a life changing event that opened my eyes to domestic abusive. For the sake of keeping the identity of those in the story safe, I will use different names. My cousin Carmen (Who was staying with us at the time) was dating this guy name Mike for about four years. They seemed to have had a pretty stable relationship. Mike was cool with the family, he was always polite to me and my sister, and was very well mannered. As in any relationship, things happen and Carmen ended up getting pregnant. Once she found out that was going to give birth to a child, Carmen and Mike’s relationship suddenly took a tragic turn for the worst. I once overheard a conversation between the two of them, and Carmen was yelling “I would never forgive myself if I did that.”
At the time I was a bit naive to the fact that Mike was obviously requesting that Carmen abort the child, but she refused. One night after Carmen got off work, she was leaving the train station and heading home. Mike knew her schedule and waiting for Carmen to walk across the parking lot of the train station. He saw her and offered her a ride home so she wouldn’t have to walk in the dark. He walked around her and the two were now facing each other, and he did the unthinkable. He struck Carmen in the stomach three times in the stomach attempting to kill the baby, and twice in the face. Mike got in his car and left Carmen laying on the ground crying , after 9:00 pm in the middle of East Oakland. Our house was almost 7 blocks from the train satiation and while Carmen was in pain and her face filled with tears Carmen walked home into the arms of mother. Emotional and concerned for her unborn child, Carmen attempted to remain calm but the thought of what had just transpired and her physical appearance was too much to deal with. At 10 years old, I sat on the top of the stairs looking at my cousin with a bruised face, and crying uncontrollably- the image of her face is something that I can never forget. All of this from the hands of a man.
Luckily, the baby wasn’t harmed, but the damage was done. Carmen never heard from Mike again. That was day I told myself that I could never hit a woman. No woman should have to endure that type of suffering of the hands of a man, or anyone for that matter. Any man that beats on a woman is a straight up BITCH. So if you are a man that is reading this post and have ever hit a woman to hurt her…your presence is not welcomed here. Ladies a man only is going to do what you allow him to do. I know there are some women out there who have been in an abusive relationship and stayed with that person, because of the “love” he has for you, or you think he is never going to hit you again. All of that is a bunch of bullshit. If he hit you once, he will probably do it again, and you would be a fool to go back to him. Domestic violence is an issue that often gets swept under the rug in the black community. And as a man I am saying enough is enough. Lets love our sisters and not harm them.
When I was 10 years old, there was a life changing event that opened my eyes to domestic abusive. For the sake of keeping the identity of those in the story safe, I will use different names. My cousin Carmen (Who was staying with us at the time) was dating this guy name Mike for about four years. They seemed to have had a pretty stable relationship. Mike was cool with the family, he was always polite to me and my sister, and was very well mannered. As in any relationship, things happen and Carmen ended up getting pregnant. Once she found out that was going to give birth to a child, Carmen and Mike’s relationship suddenly took a tragic turn for the worst. I once overheard a conversation between the two of them, and Carmen was yelling “I would never forgive myself if I did that.”
At the time I was a bit naive to the fact that Mike was obviously requesting that Carmen abort the child, but she refused. One night after Carmen got off work, she was leaving the train station and heading home. Mike knew her schedule and waiting for Carmen to walk across the parking lot of the train station. He saw her and offered her a ride home so she wouldn’t have to walk in the dark. He walked around her and the two were now facing each other, and he did the unthinkable. He struck Carmen in the stomach three times in the stomach attempting to kill the baby, and twice in the face. Mike got in his car and left Carmen laying on the ground crying , after 9:00 pm in the middle of East Oakland. Our house was almost 7 blocks from the train satiation and while Carmen was in pain and her face filled with tears Carmen walked home into the arms of mother. Emotional and concerned for her unborn child, Carmen attempted to remain calm but the thought of what had just transpired and her physical appearance was too much to deal with. At 10 years old, I sat on the top of the stairs looking at my cousin with a bruised face, and crying uncontrollably- the image of her face is something that I can never forget. All of this from the hands of a man.
Luckily, the baby wasn’t harmed, but the damage was done. Carmen never heard from Mike again. That was day I told myself that I could never hit a woman. No woman should have to endure that type of suffering of the hands of a man, or anyone for that matter. Any man that beats on a woman is a straight up BITCH. So if you are a man that is reading this post and have ever hit a woman to hurt her…your presence is not welcomed here. Ladies a man only is going to do what you allow him to do. I know there are some women out there who have been in an abusive relationship and stayed with that person, because of the “love” he has for you, or you think he is never going to hit you again. All of that is a bunch of bullshit. If he hit you once, he will probably do it again, and you would be a fool to go back to him. Domestic violence is an issue that often gets swept under the rug in the black community. And as a man I am saying enough is enough. Lets love our sisters and not harm them.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The One Must Have....
Now that a brother is single, I guess I have been trying to figure out what exactly is it that I want. I was in a relationship for five years, and truthfully it will be kind of hard not to compare every new with my ex. Not that it’s right but I’m just sure that it will be a nature reaction. Now my ex was great, but there were certain qualities that I wished she had but didn’t. So on this day I am telling myself that my future “girlfriend” has to obtain these qualities.
1) A faith in God. I’m not some holy roller, but I do have faith and I want to be with someone I can pray with everyday. I want to attend church with the next GF, and have a conversation about the bible and God. She has to be willing to continue to grow in Christ with me.
2)Understanding- I need someone to understand that I may not always speak my mind when something is bothering me, but when I do decided to express myself…I don’t need someone to blow me off and act as if I shouldn’t have an opinion or act as if I don’t have feelings. I may not be the most talkative person in the world, so when I do talk about my feelings , at that point it should be important that you listen.
3) Confidence- My mother told me that every once in a while a woman is going to have those days when she doesn’t feel pretty, or those days when she may be lacking confidence. But my mother also told me It’s my job to insure her that she is still beautiful-Note taken mama… I want a woman that walks, talks, and looks confident. I want a woman who is sexy and knows just how sexy she really is…but not in an arrogant manner. But very lady like.
4) Take interest in my interests- My hobbies are simple because I am a very simple guy. My hobbies include working out daily, sports, bowling, and action movies. My next GF has to be able to do some of these activities with me, especially working out! I may not be the best eater in the world, but I do care about my fitness. And I would want my girl to be comfortable enough to work out with me. I am always willing to step outside my box and attempt to enjoy my significant other’s hobbies, and I would love for my woman to do the same in return.
5)Freak-Enough said! When you are with someone for a long period of time like 2 or years….at that point anything goes.
6)Humble- By no means do I want a submissive woman that would be so boring. But I want a woman that understand that sometimes its okay to humble yourself and follow your man’s lead. I would love a woman that knows how to cook, and clean. But that woman will also know that she will get the same in return. I am not like all men and my mother taught me well. I love to cook, I clean the house often, and I have no problem with being romantic-just as long as I can get the same from time to time. If you take care of your man-he will do the same for you! And vice versa.
7)Sense of Humor- For the most part I would say that I have somewhat of a dry personality. But I can be pretty silly at times, and I want someone that will understand my silly ways. I like to smile and when I am having a silly moment, I want someone that is going to be silly with me.
8)Supporter- Like most of us, I have dreams and I need to be with someone that is willing to support my dreams. No matter how big or small, she is going to be right there encouraging to keep my focus, and telling me to relax when I get a stressed. Support is very important in any relationship and it’s a must in mine.
9)Educated- No I am not saying that a woman has to be college educated (although that would be a plus) but I would like someone with at least a HS Diploma. My future significant other has to be able to hold a decent conversation outside of everyday gossip.
Am I being too picky….I don’t think so, I didn’t even say anything about physical appearance. At this point in my life that is really not important to me (although it does play a major role). I am looking for more than what appears on the outside, I’m looking for inner beauty. I refuse to settle and I although I could be wishfully thinking I will get everything on this list….it doesn’t hurt to try.
1) A faith in God. I’m not some holy roller, but I do have faith and I want to be with someone I can pray with everyday. I want to attend church with the next GF, and have a conversation about the bible and God. She has to be willing to continue to grow in Christ with me.
2)Understanding- I need someone to understand that I may not always speak my mind when something is bothering me, but when I do decided to express myself…I don’t need someone to blow me off and act as if I shouldn’t have an opinion or act as if I don’t have feelings. I may not be the most talkative person in the world, so when I do talk about my feelings , at that point it should be important that you listen.
3) Confidence- My mother told me that every once in a while a woman is going to have those days when she doesn’t feel pretty, or those days when she may be lacking confidence. But my mother also told me It’s my job to insure her that she is still beautiful-Note taken mama… I want a woman that walks, talks, and looks confident. I want a woman who is sexy and knows just how sexy she really is…but not in an arrogant manner. But very lady like.
4) Take interest in my interests- My hobbies are simple because I am a very simple guy. My hobbies include working out daily, sports, bowling, and action movies. My next GF has to be able to do some of these activities with me, especially working out! I may not be the best eater in the world, but I do care about my fitness. And I would want my girl to be comfortable enough to work out with me. I am always willing to step outside my box and attempt to enjoy my significant other’s hobbies, and I would love for my woman to do the same in return.
5)Freak-Enough said! When you are with someone for a long period of time like 2 or years….at that point anything goes.
6)Humble- By no means do I want a submissive woman that would be so boring. But I want a woman that understand that sometimes its okay to humble yourself and follow your man’s lead. I would love a woman that knows how to cook, and clean. But that woman will also know that she will get the same in return. I am not like all men and my mother taught me well. I love to cook, I clean the house often, and I have no problem with being romantic-just as long as I can get the same from time to time. If you take care of your man-he will do the same for you! And vice versa.
7)Sense of Humor- For the most part I would say that I have somewhat of a dry personality. But I can be pretty silly at times, and I want someone that will understand my silly ways. I like to smile and when I am having a silly moment, I want someone that is going to be silly with me.
8)Supporter- Like most of us, I have dreams and I need to be with someone that is willing to support my dreams. No matter how big or small, she is going to be right there encouraging to keep my focus, and telling me to relax when I get a stressed. Support is very important in any relationship and it’s a must in mine.
9)Educated- No I am not saying that a woman has to be college educated (although that would be a plus) but I would like someone with at least a HS Diploma. My future significant other has to be able to hold a decent conversation outside of everyday gossip.
Am I being too picky….I don’t think so, I didn’t even say anything about physical appearance. At this point in my life that is really not important to me (although it does play a major role). I am looking for more than what appears on the outside, I’m looking for inner beauty. I refuse to settle and I although I could be wishfully thinking I will get everything on this list….it doesn’t hurt to try.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
25 Years!
On October 20th, I reached a milestone in every black man’s life….I turned 25. I am very fortunate to have live past the life expectancy rate of black men. Not only that, but I have also exceeded everyone’s expectation of me. I have a college degree, no kids, a good job, health care, and many other things that a lot of people don’t have. I can’t complain. My life could be filled with baby mama drama, I could be in jail, just barely getting by, but I’m not and I am so blessed that God has given me so much in these 25 years and I truly believe that I have so much in store for the future.
I actually had a great birthday, one of my most memorable. And that’s all possible because of my ex girlfriend even though I know how she really feels about our situation she made sure she went out of her to give me something I will never forget.
For my 25th birthday she gave me 25 gifts. Some of those gifts included dinner, flowers, a peacoat, some candy etc…The gifts were nice and all, but I was more impressed that she thought enough of me to do all of those small things for me. I wish she knew how much I really appreciate her kindness, but for some reason or another I can tell she was little upset with me about something on my birthday. I’m really trying to get back to the person she once fell in love with, but every time we attempt to have a nice outing, it usually turns into a discussion, which ultimately will make me angry. I just can’t win.
Enough of that….so now that I am 25, I heard all day…so do you feel older? And the answer is yes a little, but I also know with age come maturity (in most cases) and I’m still in my prime. But now that I am 25, I can’t help but to think in five more years I’m gonna be 30! And I pray to God that at least by then I can be married with children. I hope I’m making more money, moving up the corporate latter, and experiencing life in the fullest form. I’m very anxious to see what my 25 year has in store for me! Peace and Blessings!
I actually had a great birthday, one of my most memorable. And that’s all possible because of my ex girlfriend even though I know how she really feels about our situation she made sure she went out of her to give me something I will never forget.
For my 25th birthday she gave me 25 gifts. Some of those gifts included dinner, flowers, a peacoat, some candy etc…The gifts were nice and all, but I was more impressed that she thought enough of me to do all of those small things for me. I wish she knew how much I really appreciate her kindness, but for some reason or another I can tell she was little upset with me about something on my birthday. I’m really trying to get back to the person she once fell in love with, but every time we attempt to have a nice outing, it usually turns into a discussion, which ultimately will make me angry. I just can’t win.
Enough of that….so now that I am 25, I heard all day…so do you feel older? And the answer is yes a little, but I also know with age come maturity (in most cases) and I’m still in my prime. But now that I am 25, I can’t help but to think in five more years I’m gonna be 30! And I pray to God that at least by then I can be married with children. I hope I’m making more money, moving up the corporate latter, and experiencing life in the fullest form. I’m very anxious to see what my 25 year has in store for me! Peace and Blessings!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Truth Is
The Truth everyone...I love my ex friend....to DEATH. To this day, I would probably do anything for her, and although we are still cool, there is obviously something not right between us. Even when we try to be normal, the friction and a little hatred is always in the air.
The truth is....sometimes I can't tell the difference between my heart and my mind. My mind sometimes tell me that its not ever going to work again, but my heart says I have to attempt to get things right. Then there are times when I'm just lost and I don't know what to feel.
The truth is...I know I fucked up, and although she was not perfect in our relationship, she has always been loyal to me, and I allowed someone else to come in between us.
The truth is...I question rather she is the one for me. Just because we have known each other for ever doesn't always mean that we were made to be in a relationship together. I wonder if I can love her the way that she wants to be loved...and can she do the same for me.
The truth is...I am a damn good boyfriend. I became the man she wanted me to be. I cooked, I cleaned, I bought her stuff all the time, I took her out on dates, I came home and hugged her, and kissed her, I asked her how her day was...and in return, all I got was nothing. I few I love yous, but all that of the shit I gave out, I never got it in return.
The truth is...I think she stopped loving. We were in a relationship for 5 years, and for the last year of our relationship, she just flipped the script. I attempted a number of times to talk to her and try to figure out the problem so we can work it out, but she would just shut off, and give me the cold shoulder.
The truth is...I still don't know if she can ever love me the same....
The truth is...I love her enough to allow someone else to love her if that if that is gonna bring her happiness.
The truth is...I couldn't stand to see her with someone else.
The truth is...I still don't know how to correct our problems.
The truth is...A part of me, wants to see what else is out there for me.
The truth is...I think I know where I belong.
The truth is...I'm still lost. Love is some crazy shit!
The truth is....sometimes I can't tell the difference between my heart and my mind. My mind sometimes tell me that its not ever going to work again, but my heart says I have to attempt to get things right. Then there are times when I'm just lost and I don't know what to feel.
The truth is...I know I fucked up, and although she was not perfect in our relationship, she has always been loyal to me, and I allowed someone else to come in between us.
The truth is...I question rather she is the one for me. Just because we have known each other for ever doesn't always mean that we were made to be in a relationship together. I wonder if I can love her the way that she wants to be loved...and can she do the same for me.
The truth is...I am a damn good boyfriend. I became the man she wanted me to be. I cooked, I cleaned, I bought her stuff all the time, I took her out on dates, I came home and hugged her, and kissed her, I asked her how her day was...and in return, all I got was nothing. I few I love yous, but all that of the shit I gave out, I never got it in return.
The truth is...I think she stopped loving. We were in a relationship for 5 years, and for the last year of our relationship, she just flipped the script. I attempted a number of times to talk to her and try to figure out the problem so we can work it out, but she would just shut off, and give me the cold shoulder.
The truth is...I still don't know if she can ever love me the same....
The truth is...I love her enough to allow someone else to love her if that if that is gonna bring her happiness.
The truth is...I couldn't stand to see her with someone else.
The truth is...I still don't know how to correct our problems.
The truth is...A part of me, wants to see what else is out there for me.
The truth is...I think I know where I belong.
The truth is...I'm still lost. Love is some crazy shit!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What Was Once Love
I know everyone I been horrible with keeping up with my blog but I have reason for it, just too much to tell but I have something on my heart and I need to share my feelings. Okay so after 5 years of being in a relationship and a total of ten years of friendship, me and shorty have decided that it was time for us to part ways. Now the first question many of you would be thinking is why? And honestly we both played a part in the demised of our relationship. For months now we have been having trouble not communicating with each other, not showing each other enough respect or love, and most importantly we were not listening to each other needs. My ex and I developed a friendship before we ever decided to become a couple and once we became a couple the friendship got lost in the shuffle.
For 10 years my girl has been in my life for both the good and the bad, but somewhere along the way she changed and so did my thoughts about our relationship.
As a result if my frustration in the relationship I made the dumbest mistake in my life when I allowed someone to come in between us. And so I cheated. Being the man that I am….I told her about it, up front because I didn’t want her to find out. There were a number of reasons why I did what I did but there is no excuse in the world for my actions. Although I feel like this whole fiasco is my fault, I was somewhat provoked by the actions of my significant other.
The bottom line is….I miss my friend, and I miss my woman! But at this point, we both have done so much damage…I doubt if it can be repaired.
For 10 years my girl has been in my life for both the good and the bad, but somewhere along the way she changed and so did my thoughts about our relationship.
As a result if my frustration in the relationship I made the dumbest mistake in my life when I allowed someone to come in between us. And so I cheated. Being the man that I am….I told her about it, up front because I didn’t want her to find out. There were a number of reasons why I did what I did but there is no excuse in the world for my actions. Although I feel like this whole fiasco is my fault, I was somewhat provoked by the actions of my significant other.
The bottom line is….I miss my friend, and I miss my woman! But at this point, we both have done so much damage…I doubt if it can be repaired.
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