Monday, December 21, 2009

Now Is The Time For Change!

Now is the time for change...

Now is the time for GREATNESS

Not to get all Godly or anything like that….but “Now Is The Time For Greatness” is the theme series that my pastor has been preaching on the last month and some change. And for some reason I have been telling myself throughout these troubling times for me that things need to change; new people, a new outlook on life, and new appreciation for love. On Saturday (12/19/09) I sat in the bed all day and all night (literally) without much sleep and so I just thought about what direction my life was going into. At 25 I felt like nothing positive was happening for me. And then suddenly- I had an epiphany, I just need to be with me and take care of me. I can’t worry about pleasing other people, or helping folks-I have to take care of me, and make myself happy, because at the end of the day, this is my life and no one can live it but me.

As the New Year approaches, I have decided that I will exclude any negative or pessimistic posting from this blog (unless I’m a venting session with myself). I just figure that I have walk into the new year with a new outlook on life. I NEED to always surround myself with positive people with positive energy. Just this weekend I went through my cell phone and just deleted people that I felt that could possibly hinder my growth in 2010. Some of those people were family member as well. Some people go out and do the whole new year’s resolution, and I’ve done in the past as well, but this new year it’s all about steady progression.

On January 2nd I will move into my one bedroom apartment! Either I was in college, or staying with my ex, I never have once experienced what it’s really like living out on my own, and it’s an experience I am really looking forward to. The time for change is now!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Going Through Life

Dreams of life being a utopia is indeed just a dream. One of the things that I am learning throughout this process I prefer to call “the growth period” is that life has many bumps and roads, and life is truly all what you make of it. As much as we like to predetermine special monumental moments of our lives, things don’t always go as planned because of outside distractions that arrive unannounced. Each and everyone of us were taught about making the “right” decision, and how those decisions effect us and those that are important in our lives, and now to me it’s all starting to make sense.

In my dream world, I was going to be married at 26-27, have my MBA and beginning to start a family with the love of my life. You know that whole White Pickett Fence dream really doesn’t exist. Although I have no regrets in life, there are some moments when I wish I could go back and right some wrongs. I realize that I put myself in horrible predicament and I ended up hurting the people that care about me the most. So at this point there is no other option but to continue to look ahead, and make sure I do it the right way the next time.

Someone very close to me asked me the other day if I was going through a stage of depression? I laughed at her and told her I was just going through life. I just pray for strength and power to control my emotions and not to result to things that are unhealthy for an outlet. I’m getting better one day at a time.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I am
Afraid of the future holds for me. Although there is a bit of excitement there, the problem with the future is that it cannot be determined; I must take the wait-and-see approach. I can only believe that there is nothing but great things ahead of me-I guess there is a bit of fear of being successful. There is so much about to take place in my life…getting my own apartment, starting school next fall, and finally taking care of me. All of these things I know will become a bit overwhelming.

I am
More than a conqueror. Yes I may be somewhat hesitant of what the future holds for me in my life, but I know that God has given me the ability to overcome any obstacles that is placed in front of me. I am a fighter, with a fiery competitive edge. Losing is not an option in life, and it will never become one. Even during my most troubling hour, I must realize that Joy comes in the morning.

I am
Human. I make mistakes and I’m far from being infallible. I think some people have a tendency to place me on such a high pedestal, that they forget that I often make mistakes just like everyone else. Every day I strive for perfection just as many of us do, but I often fall short. What I don’t need is for someone to act like the world is coming to end because I made a wrong decision. We all make bad choices in life…but its apart of the growth of finding the Real Darrius.

I am
A great lover. Not to toot my own horn, but I know how to love. I can be very passionate, romantic, caring, a great listening, and a strong support system. My problem is that I haven’t actually gave a woman all of that at one time on a consistent basis. However, as a direct result of my past experience in relationships, I fully understand now that love can’t come here and there. Although my actions prove to be other wise, I fully capable of being a great lover.

I am
A leader. Ever since my sophomore year in college, I realize that God has blessed me with the ability to be a leader. And that is a characteristic that I can’t just let sit there without putting it to use. I am unsure of what capacity my leaderships skills will be exercised in, I do know that it will have something to do with giving back to the youth.

I am
A true friend. Growing up in East Oakland, I learned at an early age what loyalty stood for. And I stay true to what I was taught as a youngster. Of all of the people that I associate myself with I can guarantee you that all of them will tell you that I have their back no matter what. We have become so accustom to throwing around the word friend, many of have forgotten what the term really means. Above all I never turned my back on people and I don’t plan on it.

I am….cheap, yet expensive at the same time
I am…weird
I am…not easily persuaded
I am…hard headed
I am… stubborn
I am…willing to learn
I am…eager to help others in need
I am…somewhat passive
I am…quiet by nature, and free when I’m comfortable
I am…observer
I am...not a procrastinator
I am…humble
I am…a work in progress
I am…Darrius.

Either Love me or Leave me alone!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Random Thoughts From The Mind of Darrius

I still can’t get into Twitter…Even when I go onto peoples twitter accounts I struggle with trying to find out who is saying what!

I figure I will just tweet with my Facebook status lol

The alumni association for my school decided to lend a hand to some families in need for the city of Cincinnati. So we held a food drive from October to November in hopes of lighting the load for a few families. And of course I was the one who to deliver the food to these families…but when I dropped the food off, all of them acted like they were ashamed to accept the food. I can understand the feeling, but at the same time a smile and thank you would have been nice. People are so unappreciative!

And do you know I paid $30 bucks for a fu*king turkey. Who knew they were that expensive. I think the next I straight up buying Cornish Hens.

Are you waking up at 4 am to wait in line at Wal-Mart? Not me….I never have and probably never will.

Wait maybe I should go, so I can get some things for my new apartment.

It seems like forever since I spent the holidays with my mother and sister. I want to go back to California so bad.

Poll Question: What is better, Henny, Remy, or Crown?

Henny makes every girl in the club look like a dime, and that’s not a good thing.

Is it considered “gay” if a man goes out and gets a pedicure? I don’t think so because I got one for the first time and the shit felt great lol

For those of you that have been following me for a minute know that I am not a big Tyler Perry fan. In fact I don’t particularly care for his work. However, I found out that he making a squeal to “Why Did I Get Married?” Ironically, that is the one movie I did enjoy. But honestly how much more drama can those three couples go through?

How whack is BET now?

All the hype about that movie “Precious” and it turned out to be a complete let down.

I am happy that Rihanna is making a comeback and all, but I never really been a big fan of her music. She can’t even sing….I’m not hating I’m just being honest.

Speaking of Rihanna, it’s hard to look at Chris Brown the same anymore. I forgive him, but I can’t even listen to his music anymore. It’s just sad.

Okay…Knowing what you know now about Chris Brown….Would you let him date your daughter?

This is a public service announcement to Floyd Mayweather: FIGHT MANNY PACQUIAO! I think that Pac Man would win that fight hands downs!

Melanie Fiona is the truth…

Where is Jill Scott?

J. Cole is the next big thing in Hip-Hop

Monday, November 23, 2009

Moving Foward

Since the early part of September, I have been trying to find some type of way to keep my mind off of what has been going on in my life. Since the end of my five relationships and me moving out, my days and nights have suddenly become predictable, it’s just been work, drinking, and the clubs. By forcing myself to indulge in activities that many consider “fun” have just been hindering my thoughts process of what I exactly need to be doing. So last week while sitting in my room thinking about the progression of my life, I finally came up with a plan to move forward, and make better decisions.

1)Experience what it’s like to live on my own. Okay I’m 25 years old, and since I’ve gotten out of college, I was living with my Dad and Step Mother, and after leaving there I went to shack up with my girl friend. And although there is talk of me coming back to live there with her again, that would mean that I would have gone through life not ever knowing how it feels to live on my own. Moving in with my girl is possibly one of the worst things that could have happen to my relationship, and I think the space is much needed. So I have decided to experience what it’s like to get my own apartment to live on my own, and take care of me and only me

2)I need to learn how to become a better a person. In no way am I attempting to be infallible, but I think there is always room for improvement. Throughout life I have always made some very decision in life. I am not the most garrulous person in the world but I need to work on expression my thoughts and feelings instead of holding them. Nothing about that is healthy but I haven’t found the right way to deal with that emotion. I also want to be more active in my nephew’s life. I never had a positive male influence in my life, and I need to be that for him, because the men in his life are not the greatest, and I am his only hope.

3)I want to become a friend again to my ex so that we can possibly try to move forward and get right. Part of the reason why we had so many problems is because we stop being friends towards each other. However, I realize that I must be the one to put forth the effort considering the fact that I am the one who caused all of this drama. I have to mend this relationship, and put my pride aside for the sake of my future with her….if she wants to have one with me.

Everyday is a new day, and another day to get my life right.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Domestic Abuse

I can’t imagine me ever putting my hands on a woman. No matter how upset she makes or how much she may provoke me, I will NEVER HIT A WOMAN. Since Rhianna has decided to open her mouth finally and speak out about the Chris Brown situation (Ironically weeks before her album is due) the topic of domestic abuse has risen again. Now when I was a kid me and my sister would always fight, but that is what siblings do. However, I was always taught to never hit women-No matter how big the small the problem may be, a man should never physically abuse a woman. (Unless she points a gun to your head).

When I was 10 years old, there was a life changing event that opened my eyes to domestic abusive. For the sake of keeping the identity of those in the story safe, I will use different names. My cousin Carmen (Who was staying with us at the time) was dating this guy name Mike for about four years. They seemed to have had a pretty stable relationship. Mike was cool with the family, he was always polite to me and my sister, and was very well mannered. As in any relationship, things happen and Carmen ended up getting pregnant. Once she found out that was going to give birth to a child, Carmen and Mike’s relationship suddenly took a tragic turn for the worst. I once overheard a conversation between the two of them, and Carmen was yelling “I would never forgive myself if I did that.”

At the time I was a bit naive to the fact that Mike was obviously requesting that Carmen abort the child, but she refused. One night after Carmen got off work, she was leaving the train station and heading home. Mike knew her schedule and waiting for Carmen to walk across the parking lot of the train station. He saw her and offered her a ride home so she wouldn’t have to walk in the dark. He walked around her and the two were now facing each other, and he did the unthinkable. He struck Carmen in the stomach three times in the stomach attempting to kill the baby, and twice in the face. Mike got in his car and left Carmen laying on the ground crying , after 9:00 pm in the middle of East Oakland. Our house was almost 7 blocks from the train satiation and while Carmen was in pain and her face filled with tears Carmen walked home into the arms of mother. Emotional and concerned for her unborn child, Carmen attempted to remain calm but the thought of what had just transpired and her physical appearance was too much to deal with. At 10 years old, I sat on the top of the stairs looking at my cousin with a bruised face, and crying uncontrollably- the image of her face is something that I can never forget. All of this from the hands of a man.

Luckily, the baby wasn’t harmed, but the damage was done. Carmen never heard from Mike again. That was day I told myself that I could never hit a woman. No woman should have to endure that type of suffering of the hands of a man, or anyone for that matter. Any man that beats on a woman is a straight up BITCH. So if you are a man that is reading this post and have ever hit a woman to hurt her…your presence is not welcomed here. Ladies a man only is going to do what you allow him to do. I know there are some women out there who have been in an abusive relationship and stayed with that person, because of the “love” he has for you, or you think he is never going to hit you again. All of that is a bunch of bullshit. If he hit you once, he will probably do it again, and you would be a fool to go back to him. Domestic violence is an issue that often gets swept under the rug in the black community. And as a man I am saying enough is enough. Lets love our sisters and not harm them.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The One Must Have....

Now that a brother is single, I guess I have been trying to figure out what exactly is it that I want. I was in a relationship for five years, and truthfully it will be kind of hard not to compare every new with my ex. Not that it’s right but I’m just sure that it will be a nature reaction. Now my ex was great, but there were certain qualities that I wished she had but didn’t. So on this day I am telling myself that my future “girlfriend” has to obtain these qualities.

1) A faith in God. I’m not some holy roller, but I do have faith and I want to be with someone I can pray with everyday. I want to attend church with the next GF, and have a conversation about the bible and God. She has to be willing to continue to grow in Christ with me.

2)Understanding- I need someone to understand that I may not always speak my mind when something is bothering me, but when I do decided to express myself…I don’t need someone to blow me off and act as if I shouldn’t have an opinion or act as if I don’t have feelings. I may not be the most talkative person in the world, so when I do talk about my feelings , at that point it should be important that you listen.

3) Confidence- My mother told me that every once in a while a woman is going to have those days when she doesn’t feel pretty, or those days when she may be lacking confidence. But my mother also told me It’s my job to insure her that she is still beautiful-Note taken mama… I want a woman that walks, talks, and looks confident. I want a woman who is sexy and knows just how sexy she really is…but not in an arrogant manner. But very lady like.

4) Take interest in my interests- My hobbies are simple because I am a very simple guy. My hobbies include working out daily, sports, bowling, and action movies. My next GF has to be able to do some of these activities with me, especially working out! I may not be the best eater in the world, but I do care about my fitness. And I would want my girl to be comfortable enough to work out with me. I am always willing to step outside my box and attempt to enjoy my significant other’s hobbies, and I would love for my woman to do the same in return.

5)Freak-Enough said! When you are with someone for a long period of time like 2 or years….at that point anything goes.

6)Humble- By no means do I want a submissive woman that would be so boring. But I want a woman that understand that sometimes its okay to humble yourself and follow your man’s lead. I would love a woman that knows how to cook, and clean. But that woman will also know that she will get the same in return. I am not like all men and my mother taught me well. I love to cook, I clean the house often, and I have no problem with being romantic-just as long as I can get the same from time to time. If you take care of your man-he will do the same for you! And vice versa.

7)Sense of Humor- For the most part I would say that I have somewhat of a dry personality. But I can be pretty silly at times, and I want someone that will understand my silly ways. I like to smile and when I am having a silly moment, I want someone that is going to be silly with me.

8)Supporter- Like most of us, I have dreams and I need to be with someone that is willing to support my dreams. No matter how big or small, she is going to be right there encouraging to keep my focus, and telling me to relax when I get a stressed. Support is very important in any relationship and it’s a must in mine.

9)Educated- No I am not saying that a woman has to be college educated (although that would be a plus) but I would like someone with at least a HS Diploma. My future significant other has to be able to hold a decent conversation outside of everyday gossip.

Am I being too picky….I don’t think so, I didn’t even say anything about physical appearance. At this point in my life that is really not important to me (although it does play a major role). I am looking for more than what appears on the outside, I’m looking for inner beauty. I refuse to settle and I although I could be wishfully thinking I will get everything on this list….it doesn’t hurt to try.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

25 Years!

On October 20th, I reached a milestone in every black man’s life….I turned 25. I am very fortunate to have live past the life expectancy rate of black men. Not only that, but I have also exceeded everyone’s expectation of me. I have a college degree, no kids, a good job, health care, and many other things that a lot of people don’t have. I can’t complain. My life could be filled with baby mama drama, I could be in jail, just barely getting by, but I’m not and I am so blessed that God has given me so much in these 25 years and I truly believe that I have so much in store for the future.

I actually had a great birthday, one of my most memorable. And that’s all possible because of my ex girlfriend even though I know how she really feels about our situation she made sure she went out of her to give me something I will never forget.
For my 25th birthday she gave me 25 gifts. Some of those gifts included dinner, flowers, a peacoat, some candy etc…The gifts were nice and all, but I was more impressed that she thought enough of me to do all of those small things for me. I wish she knew how much I really appreciate her kindness, but for some reason or another I can tell she was little upset with me about something on my birthday. I’m really trying to get back to the person she once fell in love with, but every time we attempt to have a nice outing, it usually turns into a discussion, which ultimately will make me angry. I just can’t win.

Enough of that….so now that I am 25, I heard all day…so do you feel older? And the answer is yes a little, but I also know with age come maturity (in most cases) and I’m still in my prime. But now that I am 25, I can’t help but to think in five more years I’m gonna be 30! And I pray to God that at least by then I can be married with children. I hope I’m making more money, moving up the corporate latter, and experiencing life in the fullest form. I’m very anxious to see what my 25 year has in store for me! Peace and Blessings!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Truth Is

The Truth everyone...I love my ex DEATH. To this day, I would probably do anything for her, and although we are still cool, there is obviously something not right between us. Even when we try to be normal, the friction and a little hatred is always in the air.

The truth is....sometimes I can't tell the difference between my heart and my mind. My mind sometimes tell me that its not ever going to work again, but my heart says I have to attempt to get things right. Then there are times when I'm just lost and I don't know what to feel.

The truth is...I know I fucked up, and although she was not perfect in our relationship, she has always been loyal to me, and I allowed someone else to come in between us.

The truth is...I question rather she is the one for me. Just because we have known each other for ever doesn't always mean that we were made to be in a relationship together. I wonder if I can love her the way that she wants to be loved...and can she do the same for me.

The truth is...I am a damn good boyfriend. I became the man she wanted me to be. I cooked, I cleaned, I bought her stuff all the time, I took her out on dates, I came home and hugged her, and kissed her, I asked her how her day was...and in return, all I got was nothing. I few I love yous, but all that of the shit I gave out, I never got it in return.

The truth is...I think she stopped loving. We were in a relationship for 5 years, and for the last year of our relationship, she just flipped the script. I attempted a number of times to talk to her and try to figure out the problem so we can work it out, but she would just shut off, and give me the cold shoulder.

The truth is...I still don't know if she can ever love me the same....

The truth is...I love her enough to allow someone else to love her if that if that is gonna bring her happiness.

The truth is...I couldn't stand to see her with someone else.

The truth is...I still don't know how to correct our problems.

The truth is...A part of me, wants to see what else is out there for me.

The truth is...I think I know where I belong.

The truth is...I'm still lost. Love is some crazy shit!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

What Was Once Love

I know everyone I been horrible with keeping up with my blog but I have reason for it, just too much to tell but I have something on my heart and I need to share my feelings. Okay so after 5 years of being in a relationship and a total of ten years of friendship, me and shorty have decided that it was time for us to part ways. Now the first question many of you would be thinking is why? And honestly we both played a part in the demised of our relationship. For months now we have been having trouble not communicating with each other, not showing each other enough respect or love, and most importantly we were not listening to each other needs. My ex and I developed a friendship before we ever decided to become a couple and once we became a couple the friendship got lost in the shuffle.

For 10 years my girl has been in my life for both the good and the bad, but somewhere along the way she changed and so did my thoughts about our relationship.

As a result if my frustration in the relationship I made the dumbest mistake in my life when I allowed someone to come in between us. And so I cheated. Being the man that I am….I told her about it, up front because I didn’t want her to find out. There were a number of reasons why I did what I did but there is no excuse in the world for my actions. Although I feel like this whole fiasco is my fault, I was somewhat provoked by the actions of my significant other.

The bottom line is….I miss my friend, and I miss my woman! But at this point, we both have done so much damage…I doubt if it can be repaired.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Random Thoughts...

First off if that dude really killed Michael Jackson he should be ashamed of himself. Like now more than ever I can’t stop listening to his music. So sad…so what is yo favorite Michael Jackson song? I think mine would be “Liberian Girl”.

Ladies…let’s take a poll. Let’s say you and your man are living together and everything is cool…how long would it before you start worrying him about getting married?

So i snagged this next statement off of someone's facebook status. "To love a man is to know a man wants and his needs without him ever saying a word". Ladies I think you should live by this quote if you have a man. As a matter of fact, my next post will be on this particular topic.

Its Labor Day weekend and I have nothing to do…no drinking, no BBQ just me and Madden. Who want some? (PAUSE)

Does anyone watch True Blood? Man that show is off the chain. HBO always have the best shows.

If you catch yourself watching this Minstrel Show….

then you should be ashamed of yourself, and if you think these two clowns are cute then something is seriously wrong with you (pause).

When is love just not enough to keep you there….I ponder that question all the time, and every time I feel like walking away, I think about how there is no one else out there better than me.

Piles...for real tho? Becky....and this dude sells records.

I had a heart attack when I heard they were releasing the Space Jams….do you remember these?

Do you remember those “Man Laws” commercials?….Wouldn’t it be cool if I wrote a Black Man Laws Book. I would include stuff like this…..

Law # “69” never have intercourse with a woman while she is intoxicated….Thats how you catch the Kobe charge! Lol

Law # 105- For every two times you go out with your boys, make sure the third time you invite yo girl, to avoid the black woman’s swirling neck.

Is it just me, but what is all the hype about Kanye West and his girl Amber, don’t get me wrong shorty is cute and all but she is baddest thing walking the planet. I still think Rita G is the baddest.

Call me a hater…but have you seen the trailer for the new Tyler Perry movie? Doesn’t it look exactly all of his other movies? My girl loves his work tho….I might have to give her $20 bucks and tell her to take one of her girl friend. I can’t sit through another Tyler Perry flick.

I’m sorry but I refuse to be a Twitter…I have a hard enough time keeping up with my damn blog.

This is just a random thought as I type this post…but I really feel like making some Gumbo…Seafood sounds really good right now!

Sometimes when I’m at work…I feel a bit out of place because of who I am. I don’t think people are very receptive to my personality or demeanor. Maybe I should change, or maybe they should be more opened minded to people like me.

I don’t agree with what Mike Vick did to those animals (and I hate dogs)

but let the man live….damn. I can’t wait to see what he does in Philly.

Speaking of football….LETS GO RAIDERS!!!!!!! 8-8 BABY! The playoffs is just wishful thinking.

All this hype around Drake is starting to get on my damn nerves. The kid is nice and all but wait till the album drops before we label him the best.

The Blueprint 3 is the truth.

Why are these people making songs about celebrites. we had the Halle Berry, then it was Ricky Bobby, I saw a song on youtube called the Tina Turner. And now there is something new called the Chris Tucker. Are muthafu*kers just tired of being creative?

OH MY GOODNESS Tiny and Toya are a fucking messing…and Desperate Housewifes of Atlanta look very foolish. I mean I’m always advocating for more black reality TV but do we have to look like fools doing it. Now Frankie and Neffe…It don’t get no realer….MAN DOWN!

Why Neffe look like a broke down stripper all the damn time?

I think for my birthday (October 20th) I’m going to spend that whole week drinking, and partying! 25 is somewhat of a big deal. I’m gonna go to the strip club lol…sorry baby!

What do you really do to celebrate 25 years? I’m open for suggestions

Vegas sounds nice right now.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Vacation In Picture

It seems like forever since, I’ve last blogged, but I’m finally back from California and I had a blast. My trip consisted of a lot of eating and spending money. So here is my wrap up…

So we land in Cali on Friday about 12 noon, after getting our bags, and picking up the rental car, and checking into the hotel, we probably sat down for all of 20 mins, then we went to get my niece from school, and then go out to dinner with my mother. Shorty and I were so exhausted we didn’t know what to do with ourselves.

Saturday and Sunday We just chilled…but I needed to make sure that I got an In-N-Out burger before I went crazy. I smashed…

When we were walking into In-N-Out my girl noticed a homeless person digging in the garbage, five minutes later she discovered that the bum pulled a cup out of the garbage and brought into the restaurant so he could get something to drink. My girl felt bad because she wanted to buy him something to eat, and I had to tell her that you would be buying for every 2 minutes because that shit is everywhere. You just have to become numb to it.

Saturday night we went to the club….and waited in line for damn near 45 minutes. Mind you our bodies were still on the EST time zone, our bodies were thinking its 2 am, but the damn clock was saying 11 pm. After a few drinks, I was pretty tipsy….Now on this picture below, I have a shot of Patron in my cup…you do the caption for all three pictures lol.

Monday started all the fun. This was my girl’s first time in California, so I had to make sure she got the full experience. On Monday I took shorty around the hood in Oakland. I introduced her to my neck of the woods and where I grew up and all that.

I took her lake Merrit because she so badly wanted to try some chicken and waffles…Then I took her to the beach in Alameda, and then proceeded to kick her ass in bowling.

We ended the night taking A’ni to Chucky Cheese, and 1 hour with her would make anyone tired.

Tuesday we went dwon to San Francisco and chilled at the Fisherman’s Wharf. It was a very relaxing time. We went to the aquarium and found Nemo and Dori.

Then we went to the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum and I found out my girl was a freak…

The last thing we hit up was the Wax Museum…here a few pics.

Now people…They had this set of Jesus, but if you look to the right of the set up they had this poor looking black man, chilling….why couldn’t he be in the midst of all the other folks near Jesus. I had a problem with this.

This is me and Freddy…..

I love White girls lol…

And my man President Barack Obama..and we went on his Birthday too. That was exciting.

This was some random freak on the street...

Wednesday we went to Six Flags, and they only had six rides…..but the big ass whale was pretty cool.

Thursday: we went to the A’s game, they lost of course,

Friday was cool…we went down to Napa Valley and did some wine tasting…I’m not a wine drinker I prefer a little cognac, but I got pretty lit on Friday and the best part is, all of it was free. We probably had about 10 different types of wine and all of us were feeling pretty good. We ended up buying two bottles because they were so good, but after all of that I’ve suddenly become a wine drinker. We were there for like forever , and all of us were drinking on an empty stomach…not a good idea.

Saturday we pretty muched relaxed, we went shopping, then to the movies, and saw GI Joe which was great, and then we hit up one of the best places in the world to get crab. Thang Long’s. Man just take a look.

All in all it was a pretty good trip and I had an excellent time. I can’t wait to go back.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I'm Going Back to Cali

Hey everyone....I'm going to take a small break from the blog. I'm gonna be in sunny Oakland, California visiting my mother, sister, and niece. Its gonna feel so good to go home and be with my family. On my next post I have pics and all that. So until then I'm out! Peace and Love everyone.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Way a Man Treats His Mother...And His Wife

Next, ask him about his relationship with his mother. It’s the first relationship a man has with a woman, and if he has a good track record with her, then chances are he knows how to treat a woman with respect and has some kind of idea of how to profess, provide, and protect not only a woman but a potential family too. I don’t know a boy living whose mother isn’t beloved. We learn to protect her and provide for her; we learn about the basic core of love for a woman from her. Indeed, if a man is at odds with his mother, it’s a safe bet that he’s going to be at odds with you. If you any part of “Man, me and mother? We just don’t get along…” in his answer, erase his number and texts from your phone and keep it moving.

What you just read was an excerpt from Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, and Think Like A Man”. Ladies if you haven’t had a chance to check this book out, then please don’t hesitate…go buy it and read it. This book gives a very profound incite on why us men act the way we do. The book could also be very helpful to your current relationship. Now back to the subject. About a month ago at work, I heard these two sisters talking about some woman who was dealing with a man that was downright disrespectful. This guy would talk to her all crazy, emotionally abuse her, and even physically abused the young woman. Throughout their conversation one of the young women kept saying that this guy addresses his wife as if she “just some random hoodlum on the street and not like his wife”. ( I heard all of this while eating my lunch being nosy lol). So as I’m reading this book, I couldn’t’ help but to immediately think about this young woman that my co-workers were referring to.

The statement that Steve Harvey gave could not be any more accurate (well at least in my case ). Growing up my mother and sister was all that I had, and my mother made it a responsibility everyday to tell me to respect and love women. Her exact words were “you don’t show love to a woman by hitting her like some nigga or talking to her as if she was your slave. Show respect and love and you will get the same in return” Those were the words she spoke when we found out that my cousin Charlene was getting abused by her boyfriend of 6 years. I adore my mother because of what she sacrificed for me when I was younger, and I would NEVER, EVER think about disrespecting my mother in any form. I’m not the best boyfriend in the world, but I will admit that I do a damn good job of showing my shorty that I care. Because my basic core of love was established by the example my mother provided to me at an early age. My mother use to always say take care and look after your wife, they way you do for me. That type of mindset has stuck with me to this day, and no matter what happens I cannot see myself talking to a lady like she beneath me. I do know that there are so WEAK women out there that will accept a man that will address them anyway they want because of the fear that if that guy leaves she want have anything but it’s not acceptable. But the part that baffles me, is that (some) women think that type of behavior is okay, and they stay with that abusive man. Maybe this is just my philosophy but every woman needs to be treated with the upmost respect. I had to learn the hard way.

I was eleven years old, and my sister (who was 16 at the time )was pissing me off because she kept turning the damn channel when I was trying to watching Jordan and the Chicago Bulls play. We exchanged verbal assaults back and forth and until I got fed up and I uttered the words “give me back the remote “BITCH”. My sister called my mother downstairs and told her what I said. My mothers walked over to me, tightened her fist and punched me dead in my mouth. She went for a second swing and I ducked out the way, but my mother made me apologize to my sister…and from that day on, I vowed never to repeat the same mistake.

The way a man treats his mother really does have a lot of influence on how he will treat his girlfriend/wife. I can’t speak for all men, but most good men, that treat their women with the type of love and respect from the start…that man probably views his mother as the best thing on earth. Ladies leave there is NO good reason to stay with a man that disrespects, abuse and/or belittles you. Find that king that is willing to treat you like a queen.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thoughts From The Mind of Darrius

Joe Jackson needs to sit his ass down somewhere. Since Michael Jackson passed away, I done seen this man TV more than anyone. Capitalizing on your son’s death is probably not the most moral thing to do. I understand that you want to get your story out but my goodness. He talks every chance he gets and he is the only in the family bumping his gums. I haven’t heard Tito or Janet speak one time.

Michael Vick is a free man now…He paid his debt to society. Now give that man a football and let him earn his living. But the NFL is so wrong. Michael Vick can kill a dog, and the he is the worst person in the world. Big Ben can allegedly sexually assault a woman and NFL try to sweep it under the rug. What is going on in the world? Maybe a bit of racism? Well you be the judge?

True Story: I’m in the club on Saturday and I was dancing with this girl. The girl was cute and all and I noticed her staring at from a far after we were dancing. So later she walks up to me and asked me for my number….Listening my fellow bloggers, her breath stank so awful. I didn’t want to be rude, so I told the girl that I was in happy committed relationship, then I reached in my pocket and offered her some gum. I mean I would be wrong to let her continue to walk around with road kill in her mouth.

So I finally heard all of the new Maxwell record, and I mean its okay, but I keep comparing it to “Urban Hang Suite” and its kinda hard to top that effort. I’m happy he’s back in all but next time he should consider giving his fans that waited 5 years for his new album more than 9 songs.

So Chris Brown finally issued a public apology for his role in the incident with Rhianna. To me, it’s as if he is plotting his comeback, but honestly I just don’t know I can support his music. I have no respect for any man to put his hands on a woman….yeah I know he is innocent until proven guilty, but if it turns out that in fact he did do that beat on that girl, we should view Chris Brown in the same negative light that we view R. Kelly… and not support his music. Just my opinion. The apology was great, it just wasn’t enough.

Why is Gucci Mane so popular all of a sudden? He is horrible.

So I’m dying to get a new tattoo….but I’m not sure what I want to get. I’m probably gonna get one when I go to cali…

I think this world would be very boring without Haters...

Speaking of which My vacation begins July 31st. Me and Shorty are gonna take a trip to see my mother, sister, and niece. Before my girl gets a ring…she must get approval from the most important people in my life.

How do you tell a co-worker that he/she is getting on your DAMN NERVES? I need some suggestions.

If the world were to end today, the first thing I would grab is....probably my Itouch lol. I would go crazy without it.

Have you seen the Tiny and Toya show on BET? I’m sorry but that has to be the dumbest show to air on that station since Hell Date. And WTF has done Tiny done to her face? it’s like plastic surgery went terribly wrong.

On that note, I can’t wait for the Neffe and Frankie show…. MAN DOWN!!!!!!! HOLLA!!!!!!

Ladies….How long would you wait for your man to ask you for your hand in marriage?

Is 69 a played out position? LOL just curious.

I hop out the bed and turn my swag on….what about you?

I want some Cheesecake from the Factory.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Fear of Success

A part of me feels like at 24 years young, I haven’t even tapped my potential yet. It’s as if my ceiling is unlimited, but I’m a little afraid of the person I will become. To sum it all up, I am afraid of my own success. Years ago I would have never imagine that I would be in a position in my life where I was comfortable in my situation, I actually have a career, I have a wonderful relationship with a very beautiful woman and most of all, yet and still I have some sort of void that I need to fill. The fear of what I am capable of becoming goes through my mind everyday in every decision that I make.

I have a huge amount of self confidence in my ability to do all things, and I have dreams and goals to fulfill just like the next man/woman, but I’ve always been apprehensive in making the proper steps forward….until yesterday. Yesterday I told myself that enough was enough and It was finally time for me to put my fears a side and reach for the stars. So last night I applied for my MBA at Xavier University (Cincinnati, OH).

Please do not get me mistaken, having a number of degrees attached to my name is not going to determine how successful I will be in life, but I do know that obtaining my MBA I will position myself for greater things in the future. I refuse to allow myself to become complacent and just accept what I have now, I want to do more. I am striving to be the perfect example of what success should be, I am taking the challenge head on in hopes that my story can inspire someone to do better. No more fears, no more saying I can’t….the time is now and success is here.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Bottled Up Emotions

Back when I use to post every day, I often use to discuss my inability to express my feelings, and to open up about things that would bother me. Months later and not too much has changed. For some reason, it’s as if the smallest things are beginning to piss me off, and instead of talking about it, and I just shut down and get angry. Last night, I toss and turned all night because I had so much on my mind and I didn’t what to say and how to say, and so I just sat there, in the dark staring at the wall. When I say things people take it the wrong, or there are times when I feel like people don’t take me seriously enough both at home and at work. Keeping my emotions bottled up is never a good thing, and at one point I was really do good with expressing myself, but lately I feel as if I am converting back to my old ways. Taking steps backwards is never an improvement.

So what do I do? I have tried time and time again but I can’t seem to shake my bad habit. There have been times even recently when I attempted to express my thoughts, and they were dismissed as if my feelings were not important, and as a result of that I really have become hesitant to open up. Especially if I’m just going to ignored-there is no point. I’m not saying what I’m doing is right, I’m just saying people are not making easy for me to work on my flaws. So now I’m just keeping shit in again, and I’m another incident from snapping on someone that doesn’t deserve it. I’m trying people, I really am- I want to express how I feel when things happen but I’m fed up with people not taking me seriously or misinterpreting what I’m trying to get across. Some of it could be my approach because I’m naturally a nice good, or maybe it’s the people that I surround myself with…maybe I need to take inventory and clean some things (and people ) out of my life……

Sorry for the rambling…I guess I'm making good use of my outlet.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Be Happy

Someone at work asked me the other day if I was "happy" with what I'm doing? I assumed the lady was talking bout work so I replied yeah and kept it moving. With me being the person that I am I walked away thinking the question in a much broader scope and I started thinking about"happy" from all points of views of life, and asked myself if I was REALLY happy in life.

After thinking bout it, I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I am happy. In this day and time it's not a lot to be happy about especially in this down economy when people are losing their jobs and struggling to make ends meat I thank God that I'm not one of those people that are going through a hardship I have a good paying job, food on my table every night and a good woman on my side to keep me humble. We can always find something to complain about but the how many people do you know can always find something positive in the bad times.

Everyone has their on interpretation of what being happy/content is. To me personally I'm at a place in my life where I have a peace of mind. Like all of us out there in the world, there are some situations that could be better, but we can not control life, being negativity about everything is not going to make it better.

We should all be happy about life in general.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Writer's Block

I just started blogging and I'm already experiencing writer's block...check back with me on Wednesday I might have something for you.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Doing It For The Kids

Two weeks ago I was in Dallas for training for my job, but it just so happens that my (play ) brother CJ happens to now live in Dallas. Me and CJ have been close friends since I was Freshman in high school, in fact we are so close that when I get married I would consider him as my best man. CJ is a really good dude, very kind hearted, and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Now CJ has been with this Mexican woman named Sandy for a while now they have been off and on for about four years and they have two kids together, a four year old and a 1 year old both boys.

Now here is the story, me and CJ was out shopping one day and out of nowhere he says "Darrius do you think I should get married"

Now this is coming from a guy that never open up about anything, I paused to think about if I should really be honest with him, so I said "No because deep inside I don't believe you believe that Sandy is the one for you."

After some dialogue back and forth I asked him why he continued to stay with Sandy if wasn't really in love.

CJ said, "because I am afraid that if I leave Sandy, I will never see my sons again."

Most men would probably just say fuck it and just let it be but CJ would rather stay in a unhappy relationship then to lose the relationship with his kids. CJ told me that it was no better feeling than to coming home and have his kids run to him. So many men are quick to run out on their kids at the dumbest reason but CJ is cut from a different cloth. We continued to talk about 10 minutes and the only thing he kept saying was "my kids", those two boys are his life and I can't help but to look up to him (even though we are only about a month apart) because he actually wants to be a father to his children while most men can give two fucks. I know that my brother does not have a relationship with his father and he doesn't want his kids to grow up without a father like he did, CJ is putting an end to generational curses. So if you are a deadbeat father and you are reading this blog you should really be ashamed of your self.

There are lot of good men out there, and CJ is one of them. A real man who won't walk away from his responsibilities, and lives for his children.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Stereotypes...What They Really Think of Us

So I took a quick blogging break due to the fact that I was in Dallas for training for my job. But while I was on training for my job this very interesting scenario took place. Now throughout this whole entire class, I come to learn that Bob is a pretty obnoxious guy although cool at times. So while on break me and this other man named Bob (50 year old white man) step out on break. And directly across the hall is a very attractive white woman (keep in my mind that I don’t find white woman attractive at all, nor have I ever dated one). So I take a mental note of the lady’s beauty and proceeded to keep it moving. Bob who is right behind me says, “Look at that fine ass woman by the elevator”.

My reply: “yeah she does look good.”

Bob looks at me laughing and says, “damn why don’t you black guys stick to your own?”…

I stopped and looked at Bob and thought about what I was going to say without being ignorant. I told Bob, “ I only date black woman, and it’s not a good idea” for you to stereotype black men, based off an experience you had in the past.

I smiled and proceeded to my room because I didn’t think anything of it, but after a while I started to feel a bit disrespected. Even if he was joking, that is not a joke you make to a black male. Yes there are some black men that love white women, however, I am not one of them. I never and probably never will be. For those of you that read my blog know and understand that I whole heartedly love a black woman and in no way will I ever stray away. I do understand that Love has no color, but I’m only attracted to a sistas. But to generalize all black man as a whole is somewhat disrespect. Of course Bob could have been joking, but in his joking remarks he also revealed to me what a lot white people are thinking, but afraid to say.

All of this happened on a Thursday and then Friday, he made another dumb ass comment. All week I had been wearing jeans and a polo for this training. Nothing to special but I wanted to present myself in a respectable manner. So Friday the day of the test, (which was only two hours) I decided to put on jeans and a T-Shirt and my matching hat.

I walk into the room, I took my seat and here goes Bob again…., “Darrius that’s not the way you do it. You need pull your pants down pass your ass and turn you cap to the side. Isn’t that how they do it?”

With anger build inside of me, I looked at Bob, and said, “No that is not how I do it, and not every young black male dresses like that, maybe you should refrain from making those dumb ass comments."

People like Bob just goes to show what they really think of us… No matter what you do to stray away from stereotypes, we still are just niggers!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Thoughts from the Mind of Darrius

Call me crazy but sometimes I wonder what God does in heaven besides performing miracles. Does God wake up and have pancakes and eggs? Seeing how it's playoff time in the NBA is God tuning in to see what Lebron is doing and marveling at his own work? Does God play Madden? For real I want play God in a game of Uno and see what happens. LOL

Also, does God eat meat?

Speaking of sports and the Playoffs, Lebron is on a mission and I hope him and Kobe face off in the Finals, but the Lakers play too soft for me, so I will roll with the Cavs this year. Hopefully they won't make me look bad.

Has anyone seen he Halle Berry Dance? I'm gonna make a song with a dance and see how far it would get me.

To be honest when I first heard Drake I was not impressed. But after a while he is stAring to grow on me. I would feel comfortable with him being the new face in Hip-Hop.

I can't speak for the rest of you, but I am excited about the new Eminem, I think its gonna be fire.

A fat person in skinny jeans is not a good look

That new Chrisette Michelle is crazy hot.

I think I like her first album has been her best so far but Epiphany is just as hot.

I love President Obama just as much as the next man. But I think we as black people need to not give him a free pass just because of the color of his skin. At the end of the day he is just a politican and President Obama should be scrutinzed just like the 43 presidents before him.

So what if Hoopz makes a sex tape, who really cares? Now if there was a tape of Angel Lola Luv...

Then that might be worth watching LOL.

I know I'm late but I was never really into The Wire when the show was on air but now that I seen the show from the beginining this was probably one of the best show ever.

Now this is really a random thought....Ladies if you have a good man please make sure you let him that he is apprecieated. Sometimes a male's ego needs to be stroked every now and then lol.

I know I'm getting older because I drink Wine now...(I hope and pray that I am not at the zenith of my prime)

I can go for an In-N-Out burger right now.

Is it me, or has gas prices jumped out recently....Whats really good.

Just as quick as I made my return, my blog break will be even quicker. I will be out of town from until the 24th, So I will catch up with y'all when I return from Dallas, TX.

Peace and Love!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Wale Show!

Sorry there are no batteries decided to die when I got there anywho...

To say Hip-Hop is boring is an understatement. Hip-Hop sucks at the moment, and there is nothing to really be excited about (except for the new Eminem album). But about 2 years ago, my ears were introduced to some rapper from DC name Wale. Not overly impressed with “Dig Dug” I didn’t think too much of him until he dropped “100 Miles and Running” and ever since then I have been a big fan. Then about a year later or so later Wale dropped “The Mixtape About Nothing” and he quickly became one of my favorite rappers. So much so that I even had to put the big Homie Robin Monique up on game about this cat. So when my man Matt told me he was going to get Wale in Cincinnati, I was hype!

And sure enough he did. For what seemed like an eternity we stood there listening to what seemed like 20 opening acts, and really one 3 of them were dope. Around 1am Wale came and rescued the impatient crowd. Walking through the crowd as the magnificent UCB found the groove to “Breakdown”, Wale grabbed the mic of the stand and went in. Someone in the crowd even requested “Dig Dug” and UCB killed that joint. But there was no better moment then when Wale dropped “Sexy Lady” and the crowd went crazy. For Cincinnati to have such a poor taste in music I was very surprised at the turn for his show. But to be honest the crowd really couldn’t follow along to any of his songs because they are not too familiar with his work.

After a few more cuts, I take a look at my watch and the time said 2:15 am, and I had to be up for work at 5:30….Tap shorty on the shoulder and we rolled out, then in the car I realized that I probably missed him perform “Nike Boots”.

Wale is the type of artist that will make you love Hip-Hop, his band was dope, he got the crowd hype, and he makes good music. Hip-Hop does have a few gems in the midst of all this garbage and I really hope the world pays attention to this Kid because he is really something special. So for you all who are not hip to Wale, you really should check this man out, I promise you….you will be very happy you did. Take it from someone who careless about Hip-Hop music right now.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Weekend Wrap Up


Friday was probably the worst work day ever. I had been sick the past couple of days and I must have been high from all of the medication the doctors put me on. It made me dizzy, drowsy and very CRANKY, so Friday morning my Supervisor tells me she wants this big project done by 2:00. Mind you, I had no idea what I was doing and what the project specifics were...needless to say I didn't make the deadline. But my supervisor was okay because she understood that this was my first time looking at that type of work. Once the project was complete, I looked at my supervisor and said “that was hell” she laughed, but there wasn’t nothing funny.

Moving I had been at work since 7 in the morning. I had planned on leaving at 4, and I didn't end up leaving until 5:15. My plan was to go to the Barber Shop at 6, get a cut, go home and rest my body for Saturday. Its 5:50 and my phone rings. My sister told me she couldn't make it to get my nephew before six (aint that bitch)but it’s my sister and I would do anything for her even if she calls at the last I called my barber told him to give me 15 minutes so I can pick up Tre. I got my cut, and laid down about 7:30, I woke about 8:15 to eat thing you know it was 7:00 Saturday morning

Me and shorty woke up about 7 because we had a 2 hour drive to attend my little cousin’s Graduation. The drive wasn't that bad, but the actual graduation was horrible. You see I went to an HBCU and our graduation was a little disorderly, we scream, make big signs for our loved ones and act a damn fool. At Ball State everything was just so quiet and well put together I felt like I was out of my comfort zone. Anyway I am so proud of my cousin Yutopia .....This is here below.

Remember the name and face because she is going to be a star. As soon as the graduation was over, we headed right back to Cincinnati made a quick trip to the mall, and before we could look up it was time for the Graduation Dinner. My little cousin’s mother is so nice, because she paid for 31 people to eat. We all had a good time, but eff all that I wouldn't feed that many people even if I had the money!


So this is a very interesting day for me, because my Mother (and sister who has a child) lives in California, and my step mother stays here in Cincinnati. Now at one point in my life me and my step were cool as hell but somewhere along the way she changed. And it’s not just me, her kids feel a certain way about her as well. So every year I struggle with the fact that I have to be the one to coordinate something for my STEP mother, while her kids kind of get a free pass. The issue that I am having is that while I'm doing all of this shit for my step mother, my actual mother only gets a card and a small gift. To be honest a lot of ill feelings are due to the fact that I really miss mother and I would love to spend Mother’s Day with my mother, and I haven’t been able to the past 10 years and it hurts. The phone call and card just don’t do just for my mother. Okay so back to my step mother… So me and Summer(step-sister) decided we weren’t going to go out to dinner, we were just going to BBQ at the house and keep it simple. The day turned out to be not so bad, all of the family were there (even my step brother) who had been missing in action for 4 years! We exchanged gifts, talked for a little bit and I was out the door.

As you can see I got very little rest all weekend so Today when I get off work I am going straight to bed!

Oh yeah I have something to look forward this week! The Wale concert is Tuesday…..So until Wednesday, Peace and Love!

Friday, May 8, 2009

A Very Special Mother

Besides God, there is nothing more important to me in this world than my mother! When I was young I guess I always took for granted but now that I am older, I am realizing that her tough love was just giving me the strength for when I officially became an adult. As the only boy and “mama’s boy” the love that I have for my mother is beyond words and the relationship that we have means so much to me. My mother was everything including a dad when she needed to be! My mother taught me how to ride a bike, how to be respectful to women, and even how to put a condom on. My mother taught me how to be a man something that my father failed to do (I have a great relationship with my Dad now by the way).

Section 8 housing, welfare, single parent home, my mother worked 2 jobs, and went to school to earn her degree, and still made time to come home prepare dinner and check on me and my sister’s homework. Now at the young age of 54 my mother can look at her children now and smile. Her son has a college degree and her daughter got her Associate’s and now owns a very successful business in California. Even though we were just getting by, there was always food on the table and clothes on our backs but most importantly she provided us with unconditional love. My mother was and still is a strong individual and even though she gets on my nerves from time to time, I would truly be lost without her. I maybe thousands of miles away from her, but I always feel like she is right there!

So for all of you single parents out there raising you child(ren) on your own, be strong and just know that at least one person appreciates all of your hard work. So to all of the mothers I would like to wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day!

Peace and Love,

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Life Update

Since I have been gone from blogger for so long, I think its only right that I give you all some indepth detail as to what I have been up to since I decided to walk away. So lets see where do I start?

Me and my girl…well we are doing just fine. Like any relationship we have our moments when we can’t stand each other, but our love for each other won’t let something small get between us. However, there was this one incident when she was gonna break up with me because she told me I don’t know how to handle my emotions (I keep stuff bottled up and then I just kinda go off) and that I need to find a way to express myself when something happens. I’m still working on that part, that’s just how I do me, I really don’t know any other way.

I originally took a break from blogging, for 2 reasons. The first one was to read my Bible more. Truth be told, I started out well but then that slowly faded away. For a good 2 weeks I would take my Bible to work and go to my car and read it on my lunch break….then somehow the Bible made it out of my car and it just went downhill from there. I also wanted to get more involved in the community and I did a few things here and there, but not as much as I wanted to. To sum it all up, I basically failed at my two attempts to better myself. But that still does not mean I can’t attempt to get back on track.

Hey everybody...look how big my niece is getting

Anyway my girl celebrated her 26 birthday and here are some pics to show you how it went down…….

This is how I had the table set up……

She thought we were going to some fancy restaurant but I surprised her by cooking this very lavish meal…Salmon, Crab and Shrimp

For dessert we had White Chocolate Strawberries….

And then we made sexy time lol….

And I just thought this was good picture of us

Can you believe it’s already summer….Me and my shorty plan on going to Cali the first week in August. We already got our tickets and everything. And guess how much we paid total for the tickets?.....$254 apiece. That is a steal. My mother doesn’t know I’m coming yet tho. I can’t wait to see the look on my mother’s face when she sees me. She is probably going to be mad I didn’t tell her I was coming.

The Job
I am 24 years old, fresh out of college with my first “real job”, and things seem to be moving at a very rapid pace. I am one of those people that learn something new in a heartbeat, and with me being an auditor there was so much that I was introduced to do. Month after month my supervisor seems to be gaining confidence in my abilities and I believe it’s starting to rub one of my fellow co-workers the wrong way. More on that later. The problem that I am fighting with is worry about other people’s opinion on the way I conduct myself. Some people are a bit shocked that when I talk, I can actually sound intelligently and even more amazed that earned my college degree. As a young black man, I feel as though I must work 10 times harder just to prove that I am perfectly capable to be in the position that I am currently in. I come to work early and stay late, and I let it be known that I command respect. In the eyes of some my approach seems to be working just fine, but to others I am just being arrogant. I also think the way I dress at work could make people feel a certain way, while most people are wearing jeans and T-Shirt, I’m always dressing like I want to be the President of the joint lol.

Now that I have given you a brief summary of my life since I have been away….I will return to blog normal by the start of next week. Stay tuned for Friday’s Post.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Best Day of My Life

Saturday May 3rd 2008 was probably the best day of my entire life. That was day I finished my challenge to myself and also the day I made history in my family, it was the day I EARNED my college degree. Now to some of you, obtaining an college degree is something that is suppose to happen, but for me, no one (not even my mother) would have thought they would see the day. I was a horrible student in middle school, and truth be told I barely got out of high school. School was really something that I had to do instead of something i wanted to do.

But for some reason, I deceided that I wanted to make something of myself and that I wanted to receive higher education, and once I made that up in my mind, it was all uphill from there. I excelled in college for some reason. My fisrt semester I ended up with a 3.7 GPA (that damn Ms. Windard would not give me an A) I was on the Dean's list and every semester since then I stayed on that list. For me, it was then just the "college expereince" it was more of setting the foundation for the men in my family and for my future kids. Becauses I beat all odds to make it to May 3rd 2008. And there was no better moment then the day I saw my mother and broke down. That was truly the best day in my life. A lot has changed since that beautiful day. I finally got a job, me and girl have moved in, and all in all life has been good to me.

As I refelct on this one year annniversay of my graudation, it brings me to Wilberforce University 2009 graduation. I have a few friends who I thought wasn't going to make it lol...but with my push and them seeing the bigger picture they were able to fight through and graduate as well. Looking at them walk across that stage made think of all of those drunk nights, the many argurments outside, the those moments clowining in class when we shoulda been taking notes lol. As a friend there is nothing better than to see your friends achieve greatness. Truth be told i was really afraid one of them wasn't going to make it. But I know them earning their college is just the start for all of them. I am proud of my boys, and thats why I surround myself around good people. I'm sure May 2nd 2009, was the best day in thier lives as well.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dee's Outlet

After a long hiatus, I have come to the realization that I need to let some things go. My blogging mentor and real life potna said I needed to get back in the game, and truth be told, I had been thinking about it for a long time, but for some reason my fingers wouldn’t allow me to log on. I struggled with making my comeback for some time and I am at the point in my life where I am searching for my Outlet. A utopia to be me, to be free, away from the issues of everyday life and a chance to express myself to a whole bunch of people I barely know lol.

So with all of that being said, I have decided to change my blog from the “Mind of Darrius” to Dee’s Outlet, because ultimately that is what I am using blogger for. My source of outlet. Aint much changed about me, so you can expect the same type of content in my blog….just a little mo better lol.

My life update:
Well me and my girl are still cool and going strong. We still have our rocky moments, but that is expected in any long term relationship. Women drive us men to drink lol. My job is going great as well. I just recently had my 6 month performance review and it was excellent. As an auditor people are not the friendliest towards me but they damn sure respect me. I don’t take no bull from no one. No flaws in my game. The world is going to learn that I am to here to leave my mark. I still hate that bitch Hip-Hop and love her dumb ass at the same time, I one day she will make her way back to me.

My family is slowly getting back together. But it’s way too early to be optimistic….there are still some things that need to be said before everything is done. There has been so much that I have been wanting to tell you all, but I won't relive my past I have to find a way to continue to move forward. Other than not much else until I get on a blogging schedule. So please buckle up and enjoy the ride as I continue to on life’s journey.

I do apologize to my avid readers. I'm back...