Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Random Thoughts From The Mind of Darrius

I still can’t get into Twitter…Even when I go onto peoples twitter accounts I struggle with trying to find out who is saying what!

I figure I will just tweet with my Facebook status lol

The alumni association for my school decided to lend a hand to some families in need for the city of Cincinnati. So we held a food drive from October to November in hopes of lighting the load for a few families. And of course I was the one who to deliver the food to these families…but when I dropped the food off, all of them acted like they were ashamed to accept the food. I can understand the feeling, but at the same time a smile and thank you would have been nice. People are so unappreciative!

And do you know I paid $30 bucks for a fu*king turkey. Who knew they were that expensive. I think the next I straight up buying Cornish Hens.

Are you waking up at 4 am to wait in line at Wal-Mart? Not me….I never have and probably never will.

Wait maybe I should go, so I can get some things for my new apartment.

It seems like forever since I spent the holidays with my mother and sister. I want to go back to California so bad.

Poll Question: What is better, Henny, Remy, or Crown?

Henny makes every girl in the club look like a dime, and that’s not a good thing.

Is it considered “gay” if a man goes out and gets a pedicure? I don’t think so because I got one for the first time and the shit felt great lol

For those of you that have been following me for a minute know that I am not a big Tyler Perry fan. In fact I don’t particularly care for his work. However, I found out that he making a squeal to “Why Did I Get Married?” Ironically, that is the one movie I did enjoy. But honestly how much more drama can those three couples go through?

How whack is BET now?

All the hype about that movie “Precious” and it turned out to be a complete let down.

I am happy that Rihanna is making a comeback and all, but I never really been a big fan of her music. She can’t even sing….I’m not hating I’m just being honest.

Speaking of Rihanna, it’s hard to look at Chris Brown the same anymore. I forgive him, but I can’t even listen to his music anymore. It’s just sad.

Okay…Knowing what you know now about Chris Brown….Would you let him date your daughter?

This is a public service announcement to Floyd Mayweather: FIGHT MANNY PACQUIAO! I think that Pac Man would win that fight hands downs!

Melanie Fiona is the truth…

Where is Jill Scott?

J. Cole is the next big thing in Hip-Hop

Monday, November 23, 2009

Moving Foward

Since the early part of September, I have been trying to find some type of way to keep my mind off of what has been going on in my life. Since the end of my five relationships and me moving out, my days and nights have suddenly become predictable, it’s just been work, drinking, and the clubs. By forcing myself to indulge in activities that many consider “fun” have just been hindering my thoughts process of what I exactly need to be doing. So last week while sitting in my room thinking about the progression of my life, I finally came up with a plan to move forward, and make better decisions.

1)Experience what it’s like to live on my own. Okay I’m 25 years old, and since I’ve gotten out of college, I was living with my Dad and Step Mother, and after leaving there I went to shack up with my girl friend. And although there is talk of me coming back to live there with her again, that would mean that I would have gone through life not ever knowing how it feels to live on my own. Moving in with my girl is possibly one of the worst things that could have happen to my relationship, and I think the space is much needed. So I have decided to experience what it’s like to get my own apartment to live on my own, and take care of me and only me

2)I need to learn how to become a better a person. In no way am I attempting to be infallible, but I think there is always room for improvement. Throughout life I have always made some very decision in life. I am not the most garrulous person in the world but I need to work on expression my thoughts and feelings instead of holding them. Nothing about that is healthy but I haven’t found the right way to deal with that emotion. I also want to be more active in my nephew’s life. I never had a positive male influence in my life, and I need to be that for him, because the men in his life are not the greatest, and I am his only hope.

3)I want to become a friend again to my ex so that we can possibly try to move forward and get right. Part of the reason why we had so many problems is because we stop being friends towards each other. However, I realize that I must be the one to put forth the effort considering the fact that I am the one who caused all of this drama. I have to mend this relationship, and put my pride aside for the sake of my future with her….if she wants to have one with me.

Everyday is a new day, and another day to get my life right.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Domestic Abuse

I can’t imagine me ever putting my hands on a woman. No matter how upset she makes or how much she may provoke me, I will NEVER HIT A WOMAN. Since Rhianna has decided to open her mouth finally and speak out about the Chris Brown situation (Ironically weeks before her album is due) the topic of domestic abuse has risen again. Now when I was a kid me and my sister would always fight, but that is what siblings do. However, I was always taught to never hit women-No matter how big the small the problem may be, a man should never physically abuse a woman. (Unless she points a gun to your head).

When I was 10 years old, there was a life changing event that opened my eyes to domestic abusive. For the sake of keeping the identity of those in the story safe, I will use different names. My cousin Carmen (Who was staying with us at the time) was dating this guy name Mike for about four years. They seemed to have had a pretty stable relationship. Mike was cool with the family, he was always polite to me and my sister, and was very well mannered. As in any relationship, things happen and Carmen ended up getting pregnant. Once she found out that was going to give birth to a child, Carmen and Mike’s relationship suddenly took a tragic turn for the worst. I once overheard a conversation between the two of them, and Carmen was yelling “I would never forgive myself if I did that.”

At the time I was a bit naive to the fact that Mike was obviously requesting that Carmen abort the child, but she refused. One night after Carmen got off work, she was leaving the train station and heading home. Mike knew her schedule and waiting for Carmen to walk across the parking lot of the train station. He saw her and offered her a ride home so she wouldn’t have to walk in the dark. He walked around her and the two were now facing each other, and he did the unthinkable. He struck Carmen in the stomach three times in the stomach attempting to kill the baby, and twice in the face. Mike got in his car and left Carmen laying on the ground crying , after 9:00 pm in the middle of East Oakland. Our house was almost 7 blocks from the train satiation and while Carmen was in pain and her face filled with tears Carmen walked home into the arms of mother. Emotional and concerned for her unborn child, Carmen attempted to remain calm but the thought of what had just transpired and her physical appearance was too much to deal with. At 10 years old, I sat on the top of the stairs looking at my cousin with a bruised face, and crying uncontrollably- the image of her face is something that I can never forget. All of this from the hands of a man.

Luckily, the baby wasn’t harmed, but the damage was done. Carmen never heard from Mike again. That was day I told myself that I could never hit a woman. No woman should have to endure that type of suffering of the hands of a man, or anyone for that matter. Any man that beats on a woman is a straight up BITCH. So if you are a man that is reading this post and have ever hit a woman to hurt her…your presence is not welcomed here. Ladies a man only is going to do what you allow him to do. I know there are some women out there who have been in an abusive relationship and stayed with that person, because of the “love” he has for you, or you think he is never going to hit you again. All of that is a bunch of bullshit. If he hit you once, he will probably do it again, and you would be a fool to go back to him. Domestic violence is an issue that often gets swept under the rug in the black community. And as a man I am saying enough is enough. Lets love our sisters and not harm them.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The One Must Have....

Now that a brother is single, I guess I have been trying to figure out what exactly is it that I want. I was in a relationship for five years, and truthfully it will be kind of hard not to compare every new with my ex. Not that it’s right but I’m just sure that it will be a nature reaction. Now my ex was great, but there were certain qualities that I wished she had but didn’t. So on this day I am telling myself that my future “girlfriend” has to obtain these qualities.

1) A faith in God. I’m not some holy roller, but I do have faith and I want to be with someone I can pray with everyday. I want to attend church with the next GF, and have a conversation about the bible and God. She has to be willing to continue to grow in Christ with me.

2)Understanding- I need someone to understand that I may not always speak my mind when something is bothering me, but when I do decided to express myself…I don’t need someone to blow me off and act as if I shouldn’t have an opinion or act as if I don’t have feelings. I may not be the most talkative person in the world, so when I do talk about my feelings , at that point it should be important that you listen.

3) Confidence- My mother told me that every once in a while a woman is going to have those days when she doesn’t feel pretty, or those days when she may be lacking confidence. But my mother also told me It’s my job to insure her that she is still beautiful-Note taken mama… I want a woman that walks, talks, and looks confident. I want a woman who is sexy and knows just how sexy she really is…but not in an arrogant manner. But very lady like.

4) Take interest in my interests- My hobbies are simple because I am a very simple guy. My hobbies include working out daily, sports, bowling, and action movies. My next GF has to be able to do some of these activities with me, especially working out! I may not be the best eater in the world, but I do care about my fitness. And I would want my girl to be comfortable enough to work out with me. I am always willing to step outside my box and attempt to enjoy my significant other’s hobbies, and I would love for my woman to do the same in return.

5)Freak-Enough said! When you are with someone for a long period of time like 2 or years….at that point anything goes.

6)Humble- By no means do I want a submissive woman that would be so boring. But I want a woman that understand that sometimes its okay to humble yourself and follow your man’s lead. I would love a woman that knows how to cook, and clean. But that woman will also know that she will get the same in return. I am not like all men and my mother taught me well. I love to cook, I clean the house often, and I have no problem with being romantic-just as long as I can get the same from time to time. If you take care of your man-he will do the same for you! And vice versa.

7)Sense of Humor- For the most part I would say that I have somewhat of a dry personality. But I can be pretty silly at times, and I want someone that will understand my silly ways. I like to smile and when I am having a silly moment, I want someone that is going to be silly with me.

8)Supporter- Like most of us, I have dreams and I need to be with someone that is willing to support my dreams. No matter how big or small, she is going to be right there encouraging to keep my focus, and telling me to relax when I get a stressed. Support is very important in any relationship and it’s a must in mine.

9)Educated- No I am not saying that a woman has to be college educated (although that would be a plus) but I would like someone with at least a HS Diploma. My future significant other has to be able to hold a decent conversation outside of everyday gossip.

Am I being too picky….I don’t think so, I didn’t even say anything about physical appearance. At this point in my life that is really not important to me (although it does play a major role). I am looking for more than what appears on the outside, I’m looking for inner beauty. I refuse to settle and I although I could be wishfully thinking I will get everything on this list….it doesn’t hurt to try.